Posts tagged with "self-help"

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4 Ways To Boost Self Confidence During COVID-19

Fear and uncertainty are the most common reasons why most people feel stressed, anxious, and helpless. With the coronavirus pandemic putting a halt to our lives, the world is facing a severe public health crisis.

With multiple lives lost, rapid changes in our lifestyle, and physical distancing made mandatory, people are feeling frustrated, irritable, restless, overwhelmed, underconfident, and disconnected. 

Insecurity has been around for ages, but never more than today. The global pandemic situation has heightened the levels of such feelings. But, we as human beings crave security. We are obsessed with being powerful and taking control of things. So much so that it is becoming increasingly difficult to cope with this uncertainty.

If you are feeling restless and under-confident by the current situation, you must know you are not alone. We are in this together. 

And to help you come out of this crisis stronger, in this post, we have listed ways to boost confidence and lower stress.

Accept The Situation AND Tackle The Things You Can Control

Easier said than done, but the first step is to come to terms with the uncertainty going around in the world. While scientists all over the globe are trying to develop a vaccine as fast as possible, we don’t know how long we will have to live with the virus. And we know this sounds scary, but it’s essential to understand we can’t control everything. 

Life is unpredictable. Not wanting to sound like a broken record, but that’s how it is. So rather than worrying about the situation you can’t control, focus on the things you can. That will help build confidence and feel relaxed.

If you have lost your job, work upon finding a new one. And again, if you are worried about the virus, inculcate healthy habits in your daily routine and encourage your family to do the same. 

Practice Mindfulness

Rather than thinking about how things will unfold in 2021, focus on living in the present. While there may not be much to look forward to, that’s what can help you attain peace.

Question yourself repeatedly and understand why you are feeling what you are feeling. Once you understand the reason behind the negative thoughts in your mind, you can practice mindfulness to transform them into a positive influence.

There are many ways to achieve mindfulness, like yoga, meditation, healthy eating, exercising, therapy, etc. Another foolproof way is seeking the help of a professional psychic. 

Psychics can provide guidance on a range of topics from all things love to career and relationships. You can also read Leo daily horoscope on a psychic’s website.

Surround Yourself With People That Love You

Eliminate the people in your life that give you a negative vibe or pull you down. They are just emotional parasites preying on people and sucking the energy out of their systems. You don’t need that.

Rather, identify people who uplift, motivate, and love you. Spend quality time with them. If you are feeling low or anxious about something, talk to them. They can be of great emotional support. 

Spending time with friends and family and expressing your worries can provide stability, comfort, and boost confidence. 

Physical distancing is a must, but that doesn’t mean social disconnection, Use technology to your advantage, and foster healthy relationships.

Learn To Thrive In The Face Of Adversities

Don’t let fears and worries have the upper hand in your life. Accept the uncertainty that comes with specific situations. And like Rihanna said, “Shine bright like a diamond.”

Here’s what you can do.

  • Identify Your Trigger Points – A pessimistic outlook towards life leads to self-generated uncertainty. And while external factors play a huge role in adding to the same, you must determine what fuels it in the first place.

    By recognizing your triggers, you can find ways to deal with them and avoid feeling helpless.
  • Recognize When And Why You Crave For Certainty – Identify situations that make you feel anxious and stressed. Understand how your body physically reacts to them. Do you feel nauseous or nervous?

    And when you figure it out, take a moment, breathe deep, and tell yourself that “This too shall pass.” Because in the end, you have to be your own hero.
  • Let Go – Allow yourself to feel vulnerable. Yes, you read that right.

    It’s important to experience all kinds of emotions. Acceptance is the first step towards building confidence. When you come to terms with your emotions, let go.

    You are not a fortune-teller. You don’t know what the future holds. All you can do right now is to accept how everything rolls.

Final Words

COVID-19 has changed the way we live, eat, and breathe. But we can’t give up. We have to come out to the pandemic stronger and confident. 

That’s why, in this post, we discussed ways to boost confidence and reduce stress. 

Hopefully, it was helpful.

Peaceful Relationships in Turbulent Times

3 Steps You Can Start Using Right Away

Are these scary times taking a toll on your most intimate relationship?

If so, you’re not alone.

Fear and stress can lead to impatience and anger. And before you know it, you’re in a gut-wrenching argument with the person you love—right when you need each others’ support and companionship the most. 

Then if these painful disconnects go unresolved, you can find yourselves drifting apart. In China, the divorce rate shot up when quarantines were relaxed, and we’re already hearing the same in this country.

But it’s not from spending too much time together in the current lockdown. It’s because we’re not good at maintaining true closeness when we’re frightened.

From decades of helping people have happier, more fulfilling relationships, we offer these three steps for alleviating fear and amplifying love—even in highly stressful times. 

Step #1: De-escalate yourself—before you try to de-escalate the argument

It’s natural to want to de-escalate the friction between you right away. But we recommend focusing on de-escalating yourself first.

This is not just taking a few breaths or counting to ten, although that’s useful. It’s a deliberate shift in your self-talk that dissolves your distress enough that your caring heart and clear mind come back to the forefront. 

It starts with noticing what’s going on inside you and then naming it for what it is. 

For instance, as soon as you recognize that you’re upset, you might say to yourself: “Yikes. My stomach is in knots. I’m raising my voice. I’m reacting as if the person in front of me is an enemy, not my beloved. I obviously got triggered and might be over-reacting… Hmmm…” 

When you do that, your neurobiological self starts calming your inner fear-fest and restoring your ability to think clearly and connect warmly—which puts you in the right place to approach your partner again

One way to know you’re ready to reconnect is that your desire to get back to love will be louder than your impulse to be defensive and right.

Step #2 — Restore the loving connection between you—before you get into a conversation

It’s so tempting to launch into discussing whatever went awry so you can fix it quickly. But don’t! 

The pain of an argument comes from the disconnect between the two of you—not from the issue that triggered it.  

Here’s our favorite way to restore our connection before we talk: 

Whoever’s ready first (that was usually Paige early on) approaches the other gently and says: “I’m sorry for my part.” And then Don would say: “I’m sorry for my part, too.” And as you might imagine, the distance would melt, and within seconds we were in the full embrace of love again.

Of course, this only works when it’s 100% genuine, and it might take some practice to discover what works for the two of you. But when you do, the subsequent conversations will go much better.

Step #3 —  Listen and speak to create deeper understanding—before discussing what to do next time

We got this step very wrong in our early years. 

As soon as we were back in sync, we’d start talking about what to do differently—thinking that’s how we’d avoid reigniting the problem. Logical, yes. But it usually backfired. We’d start arguing again, or, if we agreed on a solution, it wouldn’t stick.

In time, we found that a real resolution only emerged from a full conversation. That meant having a compassionate, level-headed exchange where the goal of our listening and our speaking was to understand each other better. 

This requires listening with a genuine curiosity about your partner’s experience of whatever went awry and why it was so upsetting. When practiced with patience, this kind of listening makes it safe for your beloved to speak openly and honestly.

Your speaking also wants to be compassionate. Meaning, while being honest about what upset you, you’re choosing language and tonality that are easy for your beloved to hear without getting triggered again. That means describing your feelings and perspective without blame.  

Pitfall alert!

During this mindful make-up conversation—especially in these ultra-stressful times—it’s easy to slip back into criticizing your partner, defending yourself, or shutting down again. If that’s what happens (which we know it can) just go back to Step #1. De-escalating yourself again, and then… You get the idea.

These three steps—de-escalating yourself first, then restoring your loving connection, followed by listening and speaking for deeper understanding—provide a framework for creating patterns of communication that yield an ever-deepening bond of love. 

We know the quest can be messy, especially now. Still the potential for experiencing new dimensions of extraordinary love is well worth it.

About

Paige Marrs, PhD, and Don Marrshave been joyfully married for over 33 years and have worked together since the day they joined their lives. They co-authored two how-to memoirs, both of which teach through story. Their most recent book, Grabbing Lightning: The Messy Quest for an Extraordinary Lovereveals their messy, intimate journey to a love greater than either of them knew to reach for. Paige and Don have offered their program, The Love Conversation® Approach, for more than a decade to provide couples and singles the tools needed to resolve their challenges so they can experience the depth of love they yearn for. You can learn more or sign up for their newsletter, LoveNotes, at www.TheLoveConversation.com.

10 Books Every Nursing Student Should Read

When preparing for a new career, having up to date information is essential.

Whether you’re a seasoned nurse with mastery over a lot of skills or you’re a newbie just embarking on a new career path, these ten books are a must-read for every nurse.

They can play an instrumental role in helping you plan your career.

1. What I Wish I Knew About Nursing: Real Advice From Real Nurses on How Deeply Care for Patients While Still Caring for Yourself

This book details some first-time experiences of past nurses.

These real-life stories are both encouraging and inspirational and will reveal some of the lesser-known facts about the profession you won’t get in any of your classes.

2. The Digital Doctor: Hope, Hype, and Harm at the Dawn of Medicine’s Computer Age

In today’s modern age of digital devices, healthcare has changed in many surprising ways.

Before you start working towards getting your family nurse practitioner degree, it would be worth taking the time to take a look at the faster processes and streamline methods the digital world has to offer. 

3. Cooked: An Inner City Nursing Memoir

In this non-fiction book, the writer gives some details about the life of a nurse working in a clinical facility on the west side of Chicago.

She outlines her experience as a new nurse and how she dealt with the stresses of the industry to give you a rare insider’s view of this industry.

4. Care Coordination: The Game Changer – How Nursing Is Revolutionizing Quality Care

Dr. Gerrie Lamb discusses the importance of coordinating under the Affordable Care Act.

Written from a view of more than 20 of the nation’s foremost healthcare programs and professional institutions giving their perspectives, the reader gets valuable insight into what’s in store for new nurses entering the field.

5. Nursing Leadership From The Outside In

This book offers valuable tidbits of information from those who have to interact with nurses regularly.

Those in other disciplines give you their perspective on nursing leadership. While, as a nurse, you will have to master many skills, the interactions and relationships you develop with those you have to work with will be equally important.

6. Ross and Wilson Anatomy and Physiology in Health and Illness

In this book on human physiology, you not only learn about the anatomy of the human body, but you also get an inside look at what happens to physiology when the patient suffers through various ailments.

7. I Wasn’t Strong Like This When I Started Out: True Stories of Becoming a Nurse

Here, you get an inside view from a wide range of first time nursing experiences with frank and honest opinions on why they kept going despite everything.

These stories tell of the ups and downs that all nurses face and help you to find ways to deal with burnout, bureaucratic red tape, and how to balance professionalism with empathy.

8. Every Patient Tells a Story: Medical Mysteries and the Art of Diagnosis

Dr. Sanders of the New York Times and the genius behind the show Diagnosis, has compiled a collection of mysterious cases and what it took to diagnose them.

She explains how getting to the root of a problem doesn’t always involve technical equipment but sometimes only needs to listen to a patient’s details and match them with similar cases around the world.

9. Compilations: A Surgeon’s Notes On An Imperfect Science

Here, you get a close-up view of a surgeon’s experiences and interactions while working.

He points out the advantages and disadvantages he has to deal with, giving you a balanced view of what it’s like for anyone engaged in that particular field.

10. Operation Flight Nurse: Real-Life Medical Emergencies

In emergencies, acute care nursing is usually the first one in the case.

In the examples listed in this book, readers get a close-up view of what happens in real-life medical emergencies.

Dr. Kaniecki details examples from his own experience dealing with critical care conditions and experiences.

No matter where you are in your pursuit of a nursing career, head to the nearest bookstore to get these books to motivate yourself.

They will help you to see exactly what’s happening in your chosen profession, so you can get a real picture of what to expect when starting out.

Colin Bedell, Queer Cosmos, LGBTQ+ ,astrology, 360 MAGAZINE

Queer Cosmos

Can you believe that to date not one astrology book has been published that is not only inclusive, but also uses psychological approaches to encourage genuine healing and personal and relational growth?


That’s where Queer Cosmos: The Astrology of Queer Identities and Relationships (November 12, 2019) by Colin Bedell comes into play! (But what’s best about the book? While it includes a chapters on Queer Theory, an astrology primer, and real-life testimonies from LGBT folks whose lives have been improved by astrology, the book is really appealing to ANY reader. It’s core focus is to promote love, healing, and feelings of self-worth.)

ABOUT THE BOOK

Queer Cosmos is a contemporary, fresh look into astrology, personal insight, and relationships for the LGBTQ+ community! Astrologer Colin Bedell from Cosmopolitan and QueerCosmos.com has brought together fifteen years of research, client interviews, and astrological mastery to create a spiritual guide for not only resistance and resilience, but also personal insights and relationship compatibility.

Unpacking complex issues like shame and worthiness, Queer Cosmos explores Astrology as an antidote to feelings of hopelessness and provides language for authentic practices of self-expression. Leaving behind gender-normative pronouns and assumptions, Queer Cosmos explores more nuanced patterns of the archetypal energies expressed in queer experiences.

After all, the only way to forge deep, meaningful relationships is to first forge a relationship with yourself. Drawing on research from experts in the field like Dr. Harville Hendrix, Brene Brown, and Esther Perel, Bedell goes deep to provide practical relational theory that can empower readers to find successful and healthy relationships.

ABOUT COLIN BEDELL

Colin Bedell is a gay Gemini Twin from Long Island, NY. His website, QueerCosmos.com, was founded to explore queer identities and issues through the lens of universal spiritual themes and astrology. He graduated from the New School with a Bachelor’s Degree in Literature and a Master’s in Fashion Studies from Parsons School of Design. Colin is the weekly horoscope writer for Cosmopolitan.com, a monthly contributor for Astrology.com, and the author of A Little Bit of Astrology. He’s currently serving as the Vice-President of the Long Island Chapter of the astrological not for profit organization National Council for Geocosmic Research.

Broken heart, self-help, therapy, Vaughn Lowery, 360 MAGAZINE

THERAPY TO HEAL YOUR BROKEN HEART  

Renowned UK Psychologist has created a new therapeutic method to help people recover from a relationship breakup. Being entirely conducted online, this self-help treatment is the first of its kind. The Breakup CBT Cure is a structured, self-directed therapy, developed by Dr. Sylvia Buet after a seven-year study to address the emotional pain following a breakup, separation, or divorce. This intensive therapeutic approach uses state-of-the-art cognitive-behavioral techniques to promote adjustment to relationship dissolution. This intensive online therapy allows users to obtain results in just eight weeks, although they have up to 12 months if they wish to go at a slower pace.

The Breakup CBT Cure consists of 24 online sessions, divided into eight modules with almost 15 hours of videos and home tasks. Each module targets a specific problem area people usually struggle with following a breakup. Those eight “stuck points” are: ruminating angrily about the breakup, using proximity-seeking or avoidance strategies, experiencing intrusive thoughts, images, or memories, dwelling on the reasons for the breakup, feeling guilty about ending the relationship, feeling excessively attached to the former partner, and engaging in monitoring or checking behaviors. 

The main benefits of the Breakup CBT Cure include: breaking the emotional bond with the ex-partner, managing upsetting memories and intrusions, eliminating the desire to initiate contact or monitoring, accepting the uncertainty about the reasons for the breakup, letting go of unrealistic expectations of reconciliation, coping with negative feelings such as hurt, guilt, and anger, and developing the confidence to achieve one’s own personal goals without relying on the former partner.

The online treatment is based on evidence-based cognitive-behavioral interventions (CBT) and designed to be as effective as face-to-face CBT therapy. Cognitive-behavioral therapy has been scientifically proven to improve a wide range of difficulties. Still, no protocol had ever been developed until now to apply its powerful techniques to relationship breakups. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy helps people identify and modify their maladaptive beliefs and behaviors in order to feel better emotionally and improve their mental health.

BABCP accredited Cognitive Behavioral Psychotherapist John Dunlop highlights the unique characteristics of the program. Dunlop says, “The Breakup CBT Cure is a radically new form of breakup therapy. This kind of service is not being offered anywhere else, online or offline, because it is based on Dr. Buet’s unique research and methods. It offers tangible results with easy-to-follow and entertaining sessions over eight weeks, making online cognitive behavioral therapy more accessible and user-friendly than ever before.”

Offering the same results as face-to-face CBT therapy, the Breakup CBT Cure is much more cost-effective than traditional counseling because the user can save up to £3000 and go as fast or slow are they wish to obtain the results. Furthermore, a demo video is also available on the official website for people to be able to evaluate the structure and contents before signing up for the entire eight-week program. 

For more information on the Breakup CBT Cure, please visit http://www.breakupcbtcure.com/.

ABOUT THE BREAKUP CBT CURE:

The Breakup CBT Cure is a structured, self-directed therapy, developed by Dr. Sylvia Buet after a seven-year study to address the emotional pain following a breakup, separation, or divorce. This intensive therapeutic approach uses state-of-the-art cognitive-behavioral techniques to promote the adjustment to relationship dissolution. This intensive online therapy allows users to obtain results in just eight weeks, although they have up to 12 months if they wish to go at a slower pace. More information on the Breakup CBT Cure can be on www.breakupcbtcure.com.

ABOUT DR. SYLVIA BUET:

Dr. Sylvia Buet has been working in private practice since 1991 as a Psychologist and a Cognitive Behavioral Psychotherapist (anapsys.co.uk and onlinecounsellingclinic.com) both in Spain and the UK for nearly three decades. Buet has trained hundreds of mental health professionals in Europe and the USA. She was a Lecturer at the University of Ulster, teaching cognitive behavioral therapy at a Master’s level. Buet was also the Founder of the International Institute for Cognitive Therapy in Northern Ireland, and a regular presenter at International Conferences. She is an EMDR level II practitioner, specializing in the treatment of adults, particularly OCD (pure obsessions), trauma, and relationship breakups.

Scott and Alison Stratten, The Jackass Whisperer, 360 MAGAZINE

The Jackass Whisperer

Five ways a Jackass can stress us out while travelling, and what we can do about it.

We could write an entire library about travel and the Jackasses you meet (or become) along the way. We travel for a living, so we find ourselves in planes, trains and rented automobiles more days than not.

Getting from A to B is a Jackass minefield. We’re all just trying to get where we’re going on time, without losing our cool. Air travel is particularly stressful, bringing together an expensive purchase, long lines, a ton of strangers, each with their own agenda, close quarters and being faced with our own mortality. It’s basically a Jackass stew.

How we react to the frustrations of travelling shape the way we interact, and most importantly whether we pay the Jackassery of our seatmate Carol with the emotional support squirrel, forward. We all need to be Jackass Whisperers – snuffing out the purveyors of pet peeves, before their attitudes spread.

So, after years of research with no arrests, here is our Travel Survival Guide, AKA our top five ways Jackasses stress us out while travelling, and what we can do about it. For each, there will be a Jackass Reaction – that pays the attitude forward, and the Whisperer Reaction – that stops the spread.

  • The Jackass thinks children should be seen and not heard

No one likes to travel beside a crying baby. Not even another crying baby. You’re going somewhere important enough to defy gravity to do it. You’ve awoken, driven in traffic, dragged your belongings through security. There were lines and waiting and an unexplainable anxiety, even though you don’t have any drugs, weapons or fresh fruits and vegetables. You’ve removed your shoes in public. All you want to do is watch a movie on a tiny screen and eat bad food off tiny cutlery, in peace. So when they find themselves sitting beside a crying baby and their apologetic parent, this Jackass just can’t keep their angry eyes to themselves.

Jackass Reaction: You threaten a baby.

Whisperer Reaction: You smile, pick up fallen toys and try your best to help out the worn-looking parent. We were all crying babies once. Besides, you packed your noise cancelling headphones in your carry on.

  • The Jackass never gives up their seat

This Jackass never gets out of their own head to look around them. Usually we support this kind of keep-it-to-yourself personality, but this is our exception. If someone could use that seat a little more than you, get up, buttercup.

Jackass Reaction: You walk over and sit in their lap. Clearly they’ve voided all rules of common decency, so you may as well teach them a lesson. Grab their hands and try to clip them together around you like a seat belt. After all, safety first.

Whisperer Reaction: You give up your seat, offering it loudly enough for others to see and hear. “Good example” is your middle name.

  • The Jackass boards a plane

Now boarding group Jackass! They stand up half an hour before boarding and crowd the entryway. They show no concern for others, for airport staff, or for the fact that they’re actually boarding group C. Once on board, they commit every overhead-bin crime against humanity. They squish a giant bag into the overhead bin, which we assume they believe has a tiny Houdini inside it, ready to magically transform their duffle bag into a tote. Without concern for others, they flail madly, hitting fellow passengers with their bag, elbows and belly, as their shirt rides up.

Jackass Reaction: You take a photo of that bare, hairy midriff, tag it #PlaneMoron with your flight info and seat number and hope the internet finds him.

Whisperer Reaction: You smile because you’re sitting in first class. Can’t swing a first class seat? Your preparedness, excellent packing skills and latte make every seat feel luxurious.

  • The Jackass makes out in the elevator

This Jackass treats hotel hallways, elevators and the check-in desk as their own personal space. Even with the plutonium-grade insulation we assume they think is in the walls, we can see and hear them fighting (or, shall we say, the opposite of fighting) with their significant other in any of these places.

Jackass Reaction: You do what Scott did recently. You open the hotel room door while standing in your robe and stare quietly at them until they notice you.

Whisperer Reaction: You invest in some ear plugs, and if it gets out of hand, you contact hotel security. They’re used to it, and you don’t need to get into an altercation in your bathrobe. Again.

  • The Jackass has arrived

Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the flight is over! This Jackass takes that seat belt off as soon as they hit the tarmac and stand up. They muscle ahead of everyone and pull their giant carry-on out of the overhead bin, elbowing and bumping along the way. Deplaning is about survival of the fittest, patience be damned!

Jackass Reaction: You stand up and do your best Roadblock from G.I. Joe impression, running into the prematurely standing passenger with the force of an offensive lineman on gameday.

Whisperer Reaction: You stay in your seat and let the stewards deal with this guy. Some people are just the worst.

Whether on the road, in the air or at a hotel, travel brings out the colicky baby in all of us. So take your seat, adjust your mirrors and for the love of tiny bags of peanuts, remember to pack your sense of humor. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.

For more Jackasses and reactions, at work, at home and on the road, check out The Jackass Whisperer by Scott and Alison Stratten. You can also submit your favourite (or not so favourite) Jackasses at http://www.JackassWhisperer.com or email them to donkey@jackasswhisperer.com.

360 MAGAZINE, Vaughn Lowery

Signs You’re Spending Too Much Time With Your Partner

How can you tell if someone loves you? Have you ever wondered and say to yourself, “We spend too much time together?”  Do you know that spending less time with your partner can be something positive? There are couples who either because they work together as for any other reason, which makes them in spending too much time together, and without realizing this can cause damage in the relationship.

Are you spending too much time together with your partner? Let’s find out!

If you notice that in your relationship there are any or several of these signs, then for your sake the time has come to start making some plans separately, you will appreciate it!

Lack of conversation topic

If you and your partner are 24 hours together it is normal that you have exhausted everything you have to say, this will make you look like two boring strangers. But for this not to happen, think about conversation topics to have with your partner.

Whatever the topic of conversation, what matters is that the affective bond that unites them and that they take care of it is reinforced. If you never feel like having a conversation with your partner, it is possible that something starts to go wrong between you two.

You don’t look like yourself

It is possible when spending too much time together with your partner, there comes a time when they look like the same person. They think the same at the same time and there comes a time when you can begin to think that your essence is being lost.

If this happens to you it is very important that you meet again. You are you and your partner is a different being from you. 

Do not speak on the phone

If you don’t talk to your partner on the phone, it’s because they may be together all day. In addition it is also likely that if you have to separate but do not want to talk on the phone it is because you need time for yourself.

Do not go outside

By sharing the same home as your partner you do not find it necessary to go outside and do things together. You prefer to be at home and the fun starts to run low. Spending the whole weekend in pajamas at home can be a warning sign, and especially if they do the same thing over and over again. This is dangerous because it can make the passion get lost. 

You can get a compatible partner from DoUlike.com. Try going out even once during the weekend to do new things that both of you can have fun.

Can spending too much time together ruin a relationship?

Too much togetherness can harm even the most harmonious/intimate relationship. Often, the couples do not notice immediately that spending time together loses quality and is determined by everyday life and routine. If one partner wishes to spend more time without the other that does not mean that love is cold. Maybe only the first euphoria has disappeared or the one feels restricted by too much closeness.

To prevent a harmful habit in time, five simple tips help:

● Keep your interests!

Even in the initial euphoria, the partners should not concentrate completely on each other. Therefore, maintain your own interests and do not give up your beloved hobbies especially for the partner. Also, make sure that he does it to you and encourage him to pursue his passions on a regular basis.

Own preferences make you really interesting for each other and ensure your personal satisfaction. When you are balanced, your partner will perceive it positively. Too much closeness can be avoided by, for example, spending a few hours apart on shared weekends.

● If you have friendships, you have few problems with too much closeness

Both the partner’s own and friends can be an important support to your relationship. The opinion of others is helpful in making difficult decisions because it may give you new perspectives and perspectives on some situations. Men’s or women’s evenings bring you the necessary variety in everyday relationships and new topics of conversation.

Do not make the mistake of isolating yourself from the rest of the world with your partner and losing valuable friendships. Many couples forget about maintaining their friendships and do not notice the gap that opens up between them and their friends over time. Bear in mind that your partner can not and should not exclusively replace your friends.

● Realize your own dreams

Compromising on the relationship is absolutely necessary in a long-term, successful partnership. Nevertheless, it is equally important not to lose sight of your own wishes and dreams. If you are always taking a back seat, giving up hobbies, or not taking advantage of career opportunities out of consideration for your partner, it can lead to tension and dissatisfaction in the relationship.

See changes – such as a stay abroad or a move – not just as a threat to your relationship. The temporary spatial separation can also be a chance to grow as a couple to the challenge.

Also be aware that some relationships are broken by an excess of closeness or togetherness: “Too much closeness rarely causes two people to feel closely connected. The opposite is often the case: if the partners spend too much time together, they emotionally move away from each other.

Conclusively, if you notice that you start to get bored in a relationship, make changes to make the relationship work better. Truе love iѕ not a hidе and ѕееk gаmе: in truе lоvе, bоth lоvеrѕ ѕееk each оthеr.                               

Vaughn Lowery, 360 MAGAZINE

The Secret Code to Resetting Your Body’s Inner Clock

By Cynthia Li, MD

“Our modern lifestyle is disrupting a deeply ingrained, primordial, and universal code to being healthy.” This is how Dr. Satchin Panda, a professor at the Salk Institute in San Diego and a researcher on circadian rhythms, begins his book, The Circadian Code. His statement is backed by a compelling body of research.

In 2012, Dr. Panda’s team divided genetically identical mice into 2 groups, one with unlimited access to a high fat-diet, and another with access to the same diet but whose eating was restricted to an 8-hour window (during that 8-hour window, however, the second group could eat as often as they wanted). The total caloric intake per day ended up being the same in both groups.  

The surprise: despite the same total caloric intake, the mice that ate within the time restriction showed no signs of disease often seen with a poor diet. No weight gain, diabetes, elevated cholesterol levels, fatty liver, or elevated markers of inflammation.  

In 2014, Dr. Panda’s team took it further. They divided genetically identical mice into 4 groups based on 4 different diets: high fat, high fructose, high fat and high sucrose (table sugar), and regular mouse kibble. Each of these groups had unrestricted eaters as well as those with time restrictions. Again, the caloric intake per day for all the mice ended up being the same. 

The result: the unrestricted eaters across the 4 groups tended to be obese with blood sugar, cholesterol, and inflammatory disorders, while those that ate within a 9- or 12-hour window stayed healthy, even if the latter “cheated” on the weekends. 

The purpose of these studies isn’t to condone a poor diet, but to stress the impacts of circadian rhythms on health and disease. Paying attention to when we eat seems to be a missing piece in the discussion of food, whether the goal is weight loss, more energy, or general health.  

What Exactly is the Circadian Clock?

The circadian clock is a biological rhythm found in plants, animals, and humans, closely aligned with the 24-hour day. This clock is influenced by our external environments—largely the exposure to light and dark—but is also controlled internally by our genes. Each organ has a set of genes that turn on, then turn off, at various times of the day and night. And though our environments have changed dramatically over the past century with artificial lighting and digital gadgets, our physiology remains largely the same today as it did two million years ago. In other words, there’s a mismatch between our internal clocks and stimuli from our modern lifestyle.    

Many of us know about the circadian rhythm, or have at least experienced it, in terms of jet lag.  Jet lag happens in part because melatonin, a brain chemical that dictates our sleep-wake cycles, gets disrupted by changes in the light-dark cycles when we cross time zones. But since each organ has its own internal clock, the liver is thrown off, too. And the digestive tract. And the lungs, the kidneys, and so on, through every organ. It takes on average 1 day for every hour of time change for the body to adjust.  

Why This Matters

When we deviate from our internal clocks, it creates added stress on the body. And stress, when perpetual and cumulative, can make us more vulnerable to chronic disease. Disrupted rhythms have been correlated with insomnia, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), depression, anxiety, migraines, diabetes, obesity, dementia, and cardiovascular disease. On the flip side, aligning with our clocks can optimize function, and optimizing function means improving health. 

The Good News

Getting back in sync is relatively easy. We can optimize our clocks in just a few weeks. Based on the rhythms of insulin, digestion, and sleep, you can try the following:

  1. Eat a big breakfast. Don’t skip it! This sets the clocks for the other organs.
  2. Eat a medium-sized lunch. Drink 1-2 glasses of water between meals for a greater sense of fullness, or healthy snacks in between are fine, too.
  3. Eat a small dinner. The earlier the better. If you want to skip one meal a day, it’s best to skip dinner.  
  4. Nothing to eat or drink after dinner (water and herbal teas are okay).

Research suggests to repair, reset, and rejuvenate, it’s best to have a fasting window of 12 hours or more (EX: 8:00 am-8:00 pm, or -6:00 pm for the more ambitious). Our bodies need this window as much as our brains do.

Time-restricted eating isn’t about counting calories; it’s being mindful and disciplined about timing. 

*If you have chronic fatigue or moderate-severe diabetes, short-term or intermittent fasting may not be optimal, and might worsen your symptoms. It’s best for these conditions to work with an integrative doctor or functional nutritionist. 

A Few Last Tidbits

—Our bodies can’t make and break up body fat at the same time. Every time we eat, the fat-making program turns on and the body aims to store it. The fat-burning genes only turn on a few hours after the food stops coming in.  

—Gut motility increases during the day and slows down at night. So when we eat late, indigestion, insomnia, and weight gain are more likely.  

—The gut’s microbiome (the bacteria, viruses, and yeast that aid in digestion, absorption, and overall health) is affected by our internal rhythms.  

The take-home

—The better you can stick to regular eating intervals, the easier on your body.  

—A twelve-hour overnight window can have major benefits for your overall health.

—Eat real foods with lots of vegetables of different kinds, and keep the processed foods to a minimum.

—Try this for 30 days and see how you feel. 

—To be in sync with the internal and external rhythms of your body can do your body right.

Dr. Cynthia Li, MD, is an integrative and functional medicine practitioner in Berkeley, CA. She serves as faculty on the Healer’s Art Program at the University of California San Francisco School of Medicine. She is the author of Brave New Medicine: A Doctor’s Unconventional Path to Healing Her Autoimmune Illness. 

Hudson Yards, New York City, 360 MAGAZINE, Vaughn Lowery

Miracle-Minded Mojo?

It’s More than Looks and Appearances that Attract You

By John J. Murphy

In this fascinating world of innovative music, stunning fashion, eccentric new looks, and digital methods of expression, we are often mesmerized by the physical appearances of things. Stop and consider the amazing images we share with one another every day. Music videos. YouTube clips. Instagram messages. And photographs. Ahh, yes, the photographs! Foods. Sunrises. Sunsets. Mountains. Rivers. Beaches. Animals. You get the picture (pun intended).

Now stop and consider that there is a lot more to what we see than meets the eye. In fact, everything we see with our physical eyes is over 99.9% empty space. That glorious mountain. That riveting sea. That rising moon. That graceful butterfly. That beautiful celebrity. That delicious plate of pasta. Just ask your favorite physicist. At the atomic level, everything physical is predominantly empty space. Take an atom, for example, and enlarge it to the size of the Superdome. The nucleus of the atom is now the size of a grain of sand on the 50-yard line, while the electron circles the outside of the stadium. The rest? It appears to be empty space.

So, what are we really seeing, and experiencing, when we are wowed by an image, a person, or a sound? What is it that we are connecting with? The answer in a word is energy. We are feeling something that is unseen. We are resonating with an energetic frequency, like a song on the radio. Some will enjoy it, because it resonates with their “vibe.” Others will not like it and may even change the channel to find something that appeals to them. How beautiful is that? Can you imagine this world if everyone were the same?

Contrast is exciting and enriching. And it serves as a positive teaching aid, too. How are we supposed to know up without down, or day without night? Thus, the more we can learn to appreciate and respect diversity, in one another and in the multitude of expressions we see day to day, the more at peace we can be. This is the essence of miracle-minded thinking and behavior.

The Miracle-Minded Manager™ sees beyond the physical. She recognizes the sacred light in others, and she lights up the room because others now see the sacred light in her. What goes around comes around. She knows that her perception of the world and her “vibration” is the only thing she really has any control over. So, she manages her “signal” in a loving, helpful, kind and generous way. She appears as a ray of light in a dark and frightening world because she lets go of criticism, judgement and condemnation. She embodies joy and enthusiasm and hope, fully aware that she could join in the “misery loves company” crowd if she so chooses. Some may call this charm or charisma or inspiration. It doesn’t really matter what we call it. We know it when we feel it. Some people, without even saying a word, simply bring us hope and joy and renewed faith because they are present.
We also know now that we can measure it. The late Dr. David Hawkins did brilliant work on this, ultimately developing a “Map of Consciousness.” Put simply, Dr. Hawkins used a method called Applied Kinesiology to test and measure the various energetic frequencies of everything from animals to songs to books to vegetables and to people. With people, he measured the frequencies of feelings like shame, guilt, apathy, grief, fear, lust, anger, pride, courage, acceptance, love, joy, bliss and enlightenment. In other words, we send out a signal – a vibration – everywhere we go, and it is this signal that is the only thing we really have any control over. We have no control over anyone else’s signal – only our own. And we can change our signal by changing our minds about things.

This is the essence of miracle-minded management. When we shift our thinking about someone or something, we shift our vibration, and when we shift our vibration, we alter our experiences in the world. Think of this like changing the radio channel from an angry, violent song to a relaxing, soothing song. Or, turning off a news story of something horrible and negative, and taking a walk on a beach or sitting in a garden, listening to songbirds rejoicing to life. Peace is ever-present. All we need to do is tap into it.

Once we begin to realize that we live in a field of energy, and we are energetic (spiritual) beings – beyond physical time and space, we can begin to manage ourselves in more miraculous ways. A Course in Miracles defines a miracle as a shift in perception, a correction of wrong-minded thinking. It is something we all have the capacity to do. We just need to surrender the root cause to our problems – the fear-based, dualistic ego thought system, and awaken to an alternative that is always right in front of us. A shift at this level changes everything. A shift at this level turns the mundane into the miraculous. A shift at this level attracts more beauty into our lives by sharing more beauty with others.

10 facts about Anxiety Disorder

Vinay Saranga M.D. is a psychiatrist and founder of Saranga Comprehensive Psychiatry. He offers these 10 facts about anxiety disorders:

1. There’s a difference between anxiety and an anxiety disorder:

Everybody experiences anxiety from time to time. It quite often presents itself when we are feeling scared, stressed or worried and that’s normal anxiety. People with a true anxiety disorder experience both psychological and physiological symptoms on a regular basis, and in many cases, it can be debilitating.

2. Anxiety disorders encompass a number of psychiatric conditions:

An anxiety disorder is not just someone who experiences excessive worry. A number of psychiatric conditions makeup anxiety disorders including: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Panic Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

3. Anyone can develop an anxiety disorder:

Anxiety disorders are not just reserved for people who tend to worry a lot. Anyone can develop an anxiety disorder because there are a number of factors that come into play including your environment, upbringing, genetics and chemical imbalances in the brain.

4. Anxiety symptoms aren’t always obvious:

Most people think of excessive worry and stress as symptoms of anxiety. That is true, but there are also other symptoms that you may not associate with anxiety such as racing thoughts, chest pains, difficulty breathing, irritability, loss of appetite, headaches, trouble sleeping and increased heart rate.

5. Anxiety disorders can be managed:

Many anxiety disorders bring about very unpleasant body sensations. Although they can be quite scary and even uncomfortable, it is possible to learn to control them and lead a very successful and fulfilling life despite your condition.

6. Treatment should be started as soon as possible:

Like any medical condition, the sooner you can start treatment for an anxiety disorder, the better. The longer it goes without getting help, the more severe your condition can become. There are many great treatment options available including medication, therapy, alternative treatments and self-help options.

7. There’s no reason to suffer:

Millions of people have been diagnosed with anxiety disorders. But unfortunately, so many more are silently suffering. Men in particular have a tough time seeking treatment due to the fear of being labeled weak or being seen as less of a man. There is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about.

8. There is an upside to anxiety:

For all the negative things we hear about anxiety, there is some good that comes from it. Chances are you are more cautious, very compassionate, kind, a good listener, and think before you act. In fact, whether you realize it or not, many of the characteristics that you may not like about yourself make you more attractive to others.

9. Too much anxiety can affect your health:

In the short term, there’s nothing dangerous about the physical sensations of anxiety. However, in the long run, if left untreated, anxiety disorders can take a toll on the body and lead to high blood pressure, heart disease, GI problems and other psychiatric conditions.

10. We must continue to erase the stigma:

In recent years, anxiety and mental illness as a whole has become more accepted by society. However, it is still not on the same level as more physical illnesses. The responsibility is on all of us to erase the stigma and be more accepting of those who struggle with their mental health.