Expressing Love in the 5 Languages
People in relationships have different ways of showing their affection. The way someone shows love is often a sign of the way they would like to receive it. For instance, someone who likes writing romantic messages often expects to get the same.
Most people in relationships don’t have the same language. Knowing your love language as well as that of your partner can have many benefits. It helps you to explain what you consider most important for meeting your emotional needs.
Also, by understanding your partner’s language, you are better able to satisfy them emotionally.
What Are the Five Love Languages and What Does Love Language Mean?
The idea of love languages can be traced to the works of Gary Chapman, a professional marriage counselor. Based on his anecdotal research, Chapman discovered there are 5 basic emotional love languages. These are the five different ways through which people communicate and understand affection.
The most important thing is to learn how you can speak the love language preferred by your spouse. This will enhance your communication and strengthen your relationship.
Now that we have considered the love language meaning, let us delve deeper into the issue.
Explaining the Five Love Languages
When two people understand how to show affection according to their partner’s love language, they stand a better chance of enjoying a happier and stronger relationship.
On the contrary, when partners allow each other’s love tank to run dry, misunderstandings are bound to occur. In this case, online therapy can help save your relationship.
Here are the five languages to help you unlock profound levels of love.
As a love language, quality time means that period during which a person receives undivided attention in a way likely to make the relationship stronger. In this sense, quality time relates to being together, not distracted by technology or other people.
Your entire focus should be on your partner.
People who prefer this language of love understand that time spent together is important in making a person feel special and loved. To show affection to them, you need to intentionally set aside some time just to be together with your spouse.
The main challenge is that thanks to technology, spending quality time with those we love is becoming more difficult. Even when we are close to each other, numerous distractions make us be easily carried to somewhere else within cyberspace.
Being nearby without connectedness can leave our partners feeling alone and empty.
Here are some tips on how to show affection using this language of love:
- Make eye contact when engaged in a conversation
- Make use of active listening skills
- Keep technology away when having time together
- Take time to enjoy each other’s company, focusing on quality
- Plan something to enjoy together
- Create a routine of small ways to enjoy each other’s company
- Be present
Words of Affirmation
Another category in the five languages of love is words of affirmation. People who prefer this love language want to see through words or text that they are cherished. It will be even better if you tell about the reasons behind your affection, too.
For instance, you can leave random written notes of love or voice messages. You could also create time to talk to the person directly, using sincere words showing kindness and affirmation.
If words of affirmation are not your preferred way to receive love but it’s your partner’s preferred love language, follow these steps to keep their love tank full:
- Be empathetic and encouraging during conversations, consistently sharing sentiments
- Express your admiration using words
- Leave notes and written reminders expressing your affection
- Send texts regularly when not together
- Create and share a custom playlist, reminding your partner of your feelings
- Tell your partner how good they make you feel
Of the 5 love languages in relationships, receiving gifts remains one of the most misunderstood. Often, and unfairly, people who speak this language are considered frivolous, materialistic, or shallow.
However, this is not always the case since what matters to these people is the thought and care that goes towards selecting the gift, rather than the price tag.
Such a person feels appreciated, understood, and loved thought presenting the gifts. So, don’t rush to purchase a fancy dress just because it comes with a hefty price tag. The truly valuable gift is not prized because of the cost, but rather because of what it symbolizes.
Therefore, the secret lies in choosing something that your partner will interpret as signifying your affection. Consider gifting something that your partner has been asking for or would find useful.
Acts of Service
When it comes to intimate relationships, the language of acts of service means doing things that you know your spouse will enjoy. This could be as simple as feeding the dog, filling up their gas, preparing dinner for them, or watering their plants.
Acts of service as a love language mean that you give up your time and put effort, which can be demanding. However, if it is what is needed to spice up your relationship, the returns will be worth it.
Consider anything that you can do, which will ease the burden of responsibility on your partner. You can also ask them for ideas for those things they would like you to do for them to make their life easier.
If you have determined that your spouse prefers acts of service, then there are tips that you can use to make them feel loved.
Here are some tips to get you started:
- Focus on those small things and details like what the person likes. How much sugar is in their coffee? What are their favorite programs?
- Consider those routine tasks that your partner doesn’t like doing and help them
- Pay attention to those acts that can be easily accommodated in your schedule
- Choose acts that work to your strengths
Although sex is an important aspect of romantic relationships, physical touch as a love language goes way beyond it.
Given the physical nature of this language, many people assume that it’s only intended for the satisfaction of sexual desires. In truth, physical touch is more related to making your partner feel seen and safe.
This love language can include hugs, holding hands, or even a pat on the back from time to time. Cuddling up when watching a movie can be a great way to show affection to someone who likes physical touch.
Yes, for certain couples, physical touch may not be possible because of distance. Maybe your partner traveled on a business trip or to study abroad. Or, you’re practicing a long distance relationship because of the lockdown.
In such a case, video chats can help you to remain close. You can also share personal items or synchronized experiences.
Here, we have presented information to help you discover your love language. Knowing the differences can have a great impact on how you relate with your partner, enhancing empathy and attention.
However, some challenges in relationships may not be solved just by understanding your partner’s love language alone.
If you are having some emotional problems in the relationship, consider getting counseling help. As an example, you may consider starting therapy on Calmerry. It’s a teletherapy platform that offers affordable and convenient access to licensed therapists and the support you need.
Take care of your partner, yourself, and your relationships. Give love and feel loved!