Posts tagged with "psychology"

Children illustration by Heather Skovlund for 360 Magazine

The Oxford Method

The Oxford Method Puts Emphasis on Diversity and Inclusion

The Oxford Method, a tutoring community, is on a mission to help underprivileged students around the country

The pandemic changed how education was delivered for millions of students. While just about everyone was impacted, it has been especially difficult on minority students. According to McKinsey & Company, the disparities among student groups grew over the last year. It reports that when it comes to learning, the pandemic took a heavy toll on Black, Hispanic, and Indigenous communities around the country. It found that students of color had fallen 3-5 months behind, while white students were 1-3 months behind. One company, The Oxford Method, is out to help bridge that gap and bring those students up to speed.

“There must be a spotlight put on diversity and inclusion because the achievement gap has widened in the last year,” explains David Florence, professor and founder of The Oxford Method, a community that offers tutoring services around the country. “We are taking steps to help those students so they can get caught up and have the foundation they need to succeed.”

The Oxford Method is an online learning community made up of educators who help to provide tutoring to those in need. It provides a full range of tutoring services, covering all types of subjects, and has experienced educators who can work with all levels of students. They help students who are gifted, special needs, traditional, and from rural and urban areas around the nation.

The educational community helps underprivileged students in a variety of ways, including by:

  • Providing free computers and high-speed internet. With that, it provides free instruction to the students, including those who are special needs and gifted. 
  • Working with students who are in urban and rural areas. These are areas often overlooked and that fall short in the technology category.
  • Having instructors from all socio-economic, psychographics, demographics, and geographic areas. The community of educators not only has a mission of helping those who are in diverse categories, but they are a group that is diverse.

“We have helped many students who would otherwise have a difficult time getting assistance,” added Florence. “We look forward to helping even more to finish this school year strong, get caught up over summer break, and be able to go into the new school year feeling confident.”

The Oxford Method has over 100 tutors around the country, covering all subject areas. It offers online tutoring, as well as in-person and in-classroom options. Its tutoring services are available 24 hours per day, 365 days per year. The Oxford Method works with its nonprofit, Social Actualization, Inc., by giving it 10% of all profits. The funds are used to provide free computers, high-speed internet, and instruction to underprivileged families in urban and rural America. Plus, 40% of the instructors are PhDs, 40% have a master’s degree, and 20% have only a bachelor’s degree.

The Oxford Method believes that education is the great equalizer and the best gift you can give the next generation. Subject areas include science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM), as well as business, social studies, psychology, English, history, public speaking, study methods, test-taking, and more. To get more information about The Oxford Method, visit the Oxford Method website.

Why More Young People Are Turning to Online Therapy

Therapy can help with a huge range of mental health complaints from stress and anxiety to post-traumatic stress disorder, bipolar disorder and more. There are many reasons to consider therapy, and with the internet now creating new avenues for accessing mental health treatment, it’s no surprise that online therapy has become a popular choice for young people who are seeking mental health support. Due to the COVID19 crisis, online therapy has become an even more popular option over the past year in order to help ensure that people who need additional support for their mental health and wellbeing are able to access it safely when needed. So, why is online therapy becoming a more popular option?

Added Convenience:

Online therapy is usually done from home, meaning that the client has the additional convenience of getting therapy from the comfort of their own place without having to go and visit the therapist at their office. This can be a better option for people who have busy lives or commitments like kids that might be difficult for them to work around when they get professional help. Online therapy can be done from your kitchen or living room, meaning that there’s no need to rush after finishing work for the day or find a sitter for your kids while you go for your appointment. 

Find a Suitable Therapist:

For people who live in remote areas where the choice of therapists available is not always the best, online therapy can be an ideal alternative. Online therapy offers more choice to people who live in remote or rural areas where there are limited mental health resources available to them in the local area. It provides clients with the option of finding a therapist that might be a better fit for them without being confined to the local area only or faced with the need to travel long distances to visit a therapist on a regular basis. 

More Accessible:

Another reason why online therapy is becoming more popular among young people is that it provides more access to these services for people who have physical limitations. People who are housebound or disabled might find it difficult or even impossible to go out and visit a therapist in person, while online therapy can be done from wherever is most comfortable for them. 

Less Overwhelming:

Going to therapy can be a huge step to take for somebody who has been struggling with mental health issues that they struggle to talk about. Often, the internet makes getting therapy easier and more accessible for people in this situation who might feel comfortable talking about physical health issues with family and friends but will struggle to open up about their mental health. Since online therapy can be done from home, or another environment that the client is comfortable and familiar with, it can be easier for clients to overcome the stigma that has long been attached to mental health issues and feel more comfortable asking for help. 

Familiarity:

Today, young people have been born into a world where the internet is used for pretty much anything. From applying for jobs to online grocery shopping, many young people are used to tapping into their phones or laptops when they want to get something done, so it’s no surprise that getting online therapy tends to come naturally to them. In a world where a lot of communication with friends and family is done online and there are more online services than ever before available, it makes sense that young people who are used to this way of doing things would prefer to get mental health support online too. 

What to Consider When Choosing an Online Therapist:

There are several apps that have made finding an online therapist easier, and many therapists that will typically practice from an office or their own home have also started offering online services, many as a result of the COVID19 pandemic. If you are considering online therapy as an option for yourself, there are several things to consider before you start including:

  • The type of therapy that you want – do some research into different types of therapy such as CBT, DBT, and holistic therapy to find one that seems suitable for you. If you are not sure, a good therapist can help by talking through your options and providing you with more information on what might be suitable. 
  • Insurance coverage: Bear in mind that many states don’t allow out-of-state therapists when it comes to insurance coverage, so check the location of the online therapist before you begin since they will need to be licensed in your home state. 
  • Therapist experience: It is important to choose a therapist that is experienced in and knowledgeable about the specific issue that you are looking to get help with. 

Today, online therapy has become a popular and viable way for people to access mental health services more easily and from the comfort and safety of their own home. 

Book illustration by Heather Skovlund for 360 Magazine

Education Tips For Children

7 Ways to Ensure Your Child Gets a Good Education

The Oxford Method, a tutoring community, offers tips to help your child be successful in school

Over the last year, during the pandemic, there have been many kids who have struggled academically. This is in part due to the millions who have had to do online learning and find the setup difficult. Whether children are learning online, in person, via classroom, or through a combination of the three, there are things that parents can do to help them be more successful. Knowing what to do can help make a world a difference and reduce the struggling.

“Many parents are aware of the way their kids are struggling with school over this school year,” explains David Florence, professor and founder of The Oxford Method, a community that offers tutoring services around the country. “Rather than let them fall behind, it’s a good idea to take action and do what you can to help them keep up and even pull ahead.”

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 93% of households with school-age children report that their kids have engaged in some sort of distance learning during the pandemic. They also report that the vast shift in the way kids are learning has also caused digital inequality because some kids don’t have access to computers and/or the Internet. Whether students are learning online or in class, there are things parents can do to help them get a good education.

Here 7 ways to help ensure your child gets a good education:

  1. Sleep. It’s crucial for a child to get enough sleep each night, which will help them to be more focused, as well as improve their behavior, quality of life, and mental and physical health. The American Academy of Pediatrics reports that children ages 6-12 should get 9-12 hours of sleep per night, and teens ages 13-18 should get 8-10 hours of sleep per night.
  2. Teach value. It usually starts at home whether or not a child values an education. Parents who want their kids to get a good education should instill a love of learning in their children and teach them to value the education they are getting.
  3. Get them help. If your child is struggling, you may be able to help them, but there also comes a time when kids need a tutor to step in. A good tutor can make a world of difference in ensuring that a child gets a good education. They can help ensure that students will not fall behind and that they will get the foundation they need to move on in a subject.
  4. Show them how. Oftentimes, kids don’t know how to effectively study for a test or to take notes when they are in class. Take the time to show them how to do it effectively, as well as how to stay organized with their schooling. When students are organized, they are more likely to succeed.
  5. Ask them questions. Be sure to ask your kids how it is going, if they got their homework done, if they need any help, or if there’s anything they need to be more successful. They like to know that you are interested in how they are doing, so it’s good to show an active interest.
  6. Get involved. It’s always a good idea if you can get involved with the school and have good communication with the teacher. That way you will be aware of what is going on and know how to help your child more. Teachers love it when parents take an active interest in their child’s education.
  7. Praise your kids. Help kids to know what they are doing is right or what they are doing is wrong. Praising and encouraging the kids builds their confidence and helps them to succeed as they grow.

“Just about every parent has the ability to help kids succeed with their academics, even if it’s ensuring they have the tools they need to succeed,” added Florence. “We help parents be successful, even those who don’t have the funds to pay for a tutor. Our mission is to help as many students to achieve as we can.”

The Oxford Method has over 100 tutors around the country, covering all subject areas. They offer online tutoring, as well as in-person and in-classroom options. Their tutoring services are available 24 hours per day, 365 days per year. Instructors have a minimum of a bachelor’s degree, with many of them having a master’s degree, Ph.D., and at least four years of teaching experience. The Oxford Method works with their nonprofit, Social Actualization, Inc., by giving them 10% of all profits. The funds are used to provide free computers, high-speed internet, and instruction to underprivileged families in urban and rural America. Plus, 40% of their instructors are PhDs, 40% have a master’s degree, and 20% have only a bachelor’s degree.

The Oxford Method believes that education is the great equalizer and the best gift you can give the next generation. Subject areas include science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM), as well as business, social studies, psychology, English, history, public speaking, study methods, test-taking, and more. To get more information about The Oxford Method, visit the website.

Digital Divide illustration by Heather Skovlund for 360 Magazine

Digitally Disconnected

DIGITALLY DISCONNECTED

13 TIPS FOR HELPING BRIDGE THE DIGITAL DIVIDE FOR CHILDREN DURING COVID-19

While social, racial, and economic disparities have always existed within the educational system, the COVID-19 pandemic is exasperating these inequities and widening gaps between students at a drastic rate. For families who can’t afford home computers, laptops, or high-speed internet access, remote learning is nearly impossible, and for students who already found themselves struggling before the pandemic, the prospect of more than a year of lost classroom time is a devastating blow. However, there are steps parents can take to shrink this digital divide, and there are resources available via schools, non-profits, and government initiatives that can help children access the technological tools they need to succeed. Indeed, Dr. Pamela Hurst-Della Pietra, President and Founder of Children and Screens, notes that “the inclusion of 17.2 billion dollars for closing the ‘homework gap’ in the recently passed American Rescue Plan is a watershed moment for digital equity.”   
 
Several of the leading figures in the fields of public health, education, psychology, and parenting have weighed in with their suggestions on the best ways to combat the digital divide, and many will participate in an interdisciplinary conversation and Q&A hosted by Children and Screens: Institute of Digital Media and Child Development on Wednesday, March 24, at 12pm ET via Zoom. Moderated by the Director of Internet and Technology Research at the Pew Research Center Lee Rainie, the panel will engage in an in-depth discussion about the digital divide and actionable steps we can all take to bridge the gap. RSVP here.
 
1. DON’T WAIT, ADVOCATE 

While schools across the country are doing everything they can to make sure that children have access to the technology and connectivity they need for remote learning, the unfortunate reality is that many families still lack adequate resources. If your family is among them, says author and MIT Assistant Professor of Digital Media Justin Reich, know that you’re not alone and that there are steps you can take to advocate for what your children need. “Start with your school staff,” Reich recommends. “They’re often overwhelmed during this challenging time but be polite and persistent. If you run into a dead-end with your school system, consider reaching out to school libraries and youth organizations like The Boys and Girls Club or the YMCA to see what kind of support they might be able to offer.”
 
2. SCALE DOWN 

The University of North Carolina at Greensboro Professor Dr. Wayne Journell agrees, pointing out that sometimes, despite their best efforts, teachers and administrators may not always know which students are struggling with connectivity issues. “Let teachers know if you have slow internet at home,” says Journell. “Sometimes detailed graphics and animations that look cute but have little relevance to the actual lessons being delivered can cause problems for students with unreliable internet. If teachers are aware, then they can scale down the ‘frilly’ stuff and still get the important content across.”
 
3. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF  

While it’s important for parents to speak up on behalf of their children, RAND Senior Policy Researcher Julia Kaufman, Ph.D., highlights the importance of encouraging children to express their needs, as well. “If your child does not have access to technology at home and is falling behind, make sure your child’s teacher knows the obstacles they’re facing and ask what accommodations will make it easier for your child to do assignments offline,” says Rand. “At the same time, help your child feel comfortable expressing any technology concerns or confusion to their teachers, including cases where they have the technology but cannot use it well.”
 
4. CHECK YOUR ASSUMPTIONS 

One critical step that educators and policymakers can take in addressing the digital divide is to check their assumptions. They cannot – and should not – assume that students do or do not have access based solely on demographics such as family income level. “In addition, they cannot assume that providing access alone creates equity,” adds Dr. Beth Holland, a Partner at The Learning Accelerator (TLA) and Digital Equity Advisor to the Consortium of School Networking (CoSN). “This is a complex and nuanced challenge that needs both a technical and a human solution to ensure that students not only have access to sufficient high-speed internet and devices but also accessible systems and structures to support their learning.”

5. SURVEY AND MODIFY  

For teachers who are on the ground and in the classroom, checking your assumptions can be as simple as asking a few basic questions at the start of the term. “Survey students to determine the percentage of your population that doesn’t have home Internet access,” recommends former AAP President Dr. Colleen A. Kraft, MD, MBA, FAAP. “Once you know the divide, you can address it,” adding, “When planning 1:1 projects and choosing devices, for example, you can consider a device’s capacity for offline use. For those without Wi-Fi, a public library in the child’s neighborhood can also be an excellent resource.”

6. VOTE FOR CHANGE 

That parents and teachers need to worry about the digital divide at all is a failure on the part of our elected leaders, says Bates College Associate Professor of Education Mara Casey Tieken. “Contact your elected officials—local, state, and federal—and complain,” she suggests. “Write letters, call their offices, attend their legislative sessions, and make your voice heard. Join with other families whose children are impacted by this divide to amplify your message and use your vote to support lawmakers who understand the impacts of this divide, have a clear plan to address it and are willing to take action.”
 
7. MAKE BROADBAND A UTILITY  

Reich agrees, reminding those families who already have their needs met that they share in the responsibility to advocate for the less fortunate. “It’s our job as citizens to demand that we as a society give families and children the tools and resources that they need for remote learning now and in the future,” says Reich. “We need to advocate for a society where broadband is treated as a utility rather than a luxury good, and young people enrolled in schools and educational programs have access to computers for learning.”

8. CONCRETE INITIATIVES  

Angela Siefer, Executive Director of the National Digital Inclusion Alliance, advocates four concrete initiatives. “Establish a permanent broadband benefit, increase access to affordable computers, digital literacy and technical support, improve broadband mapping (including residential cost data), and support local and state digital inclusion planning.” By implementing these changes, Siefer says, policymakers can start to mitigate the digital divide. 

9. USE TECH FOR GOOD 

There are many reasons to consider equitable solutions along a “digital continuum” rather than the “digital divide;” a binary description leaves less room for nuanced and customized interventions. It may be imperative to fortify existing institutions, implement new governance structures and promulgate policies to confront disparities regarding working families. Antwuan Wallace, Managing Director at National Innovation Service, suggests that legislators consider a Safety and Thriving framework to increase family efficacy to support children with protective factors against the “homework gap” by utilizing technology to train critical skills for executive functioning, including planning, working memory, and prioritization. 
 
10. LEVEL THE FIELD 

Emma Garcia of the Economic Policy Institute emphasizes that guided technology education will be of great value after the pandemic. She says, “it will need be instituted as part of a very broad agenda that uses well-designed diagnostic tests to know where children are and what they need (in terms of knowledge, socioemotional development, and wellbeing), ensures the right number of highly credentialed professionals to teach and support students, and offers an array of targeted investments that will address the adverse impacts of COVID-19 on children’s learning and development, especially for those who were most hit by the pandemic.”
 
11. APPLY FOR LIFELINE 

Research also shows that the digital divide disproportionately affects Latino, Black, and Native American students, with the expensive price of internet access serving as one of the main obstacles to families in these communities. “Eligible parents can apply for the Lifeline Program, which is a federal program that can reduce their monthly phone and internet cost,” suggests Greenlining Institute fellow Gissela Moya. “Parents can also ask their child’s school to support them by providing hotspots and computer devices to ensure their child has the tools they need to succeed.”
 
12. GET INVOLVED 

Learning remotely can be difficult for kids, even if they have access to all the technological tools they need. Research shows that parental encouragement is also an important aspect of learning for children, notes London School of Economics professor and author Sonia Livingstone. “Perhaps sit with them, and gently explain what’s required or work it out together.” She adds that working together is a great way that parents with fewer economic or digital resources can support their children. “And if you don’t know much about computers, your child can probably teach you something too!”
 
13. NO ONE SIZE FITS ALL 

When it comes to encouraging your children, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. “Reflect on the more nuanced ways your children learn and leverage accessible resources (digital and non-digital) to inspire their continued curiosity,” says University of Redlands Assistant Professor Nicol Howard. Leaning into your child’s strengths and interests will help them make the most of this challenging time.
 
While the move to remote learning may seem like an insurmountable obstacle for families that can’t afford reliable internet or dedicated devices for their kids, there are a variety of ways that parents can help connect their children with the tools they need. For those privileged enough to already have access to the necessary physical resources, it’s important to remember that emotional support is also an essential piece of the puzzle when it comes to children’s educational success, especially during days as challenging as these. Lastly, it falls on all of us to use our time, energy, and voices to work towards a more just world where the educational playing field is level and all children have the same opportunity to thrive and succeed, regardless of their social, racial, or financial background.
 
About Children and Screens
Since its inception in 2013, Children and Screens: Institute of Digital Media and Child Development, has become one of the nation’s leading non-profit organizations dedicated to advancing and supporting interdisciplinary scientific research, enhancing human capital in the field, informing and educating the public, and advocating for sound public policy for child health and wellness. For more information, visit Children and Screens website or contact by email here.
 
The views and opinions that are expressed in this article belong to the experts to whom they are attributed, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Children and Screens: Institute of Digital Media and Child Development, or its staff. 

Oprah Winfrey illustration by Kaelen Felix for 360 Magazine

Creating A Limitless Life

Creating A Limitless Life”

Register for free on their website.

Chopra Global, the leading whole health company founded by Dr. Deepak Chopra, today announced the final release of the wildly popular 21-Day Meditation Experience titled “Getting Unstuck: Creating a Limitless Life,” led by Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey. March 2021 marks one year since the COVID-19 pandemic has transformed daily life, with many people remaining “stuck” at home. The free, 21-Day program begins today and will help participants cultivate presence, tap into potential and unlock creativity to release stagnation and improve mental health.

Registration also includes access to an exclusive talk with Deepak Chopra reflecting on these challenging times and offering meditation and tools for cultivating mindful awareness. The program and talk are designed to help people tune into the power of the present and find joy and fulfillment in the everyday.

“Getting Unstuck: Creating a Limitless Life,” offers a 20-minute audio meditation each day and a series of thought-provoking reflection questions designed to anchor the teachings with a centering thought and mantra. The meditations are easily accessible from a tablet, computer, or Chopra Global’s new Meditation and Well-being App available in the Apple App Store and on Android.

“For the past eight years, Oprah Winfrey and I have joined forces to offer the 21-Day Meditation Experience programs. Now, we invite you to join us one last time to develops tools to guide you through these challenging times and create a limitless life in mindful awareness,” said Deepak Chopra.

“Getting Unstuck: Creating a Limitless Life” follows “Creating Peace from the Inside Out, which was re-released in November 2020. The 21-Day Meditation Experience series featuring Deepak and Oprah Winfrey first launched in 2013, and has since become a global phenomenon, with millions of participants and meditation groups around the world. The franchise currently features a catalogue of 18 different programs and features beautiful soundscapes, mantra-based meditations, and centering thoughts. For a limited time, the full library is still available for purchase at chopra.com/oprah.

Below is an overview of what participants can expect throughout this experience:

Week One: Creative Living is Here and Now

Week One will focus on expanding awareness of living in the present moment, which, in itself, is a renewal that brings new possibilities to the surface. By actualizing the present moment, the eternal “now,” we see ourselves in the limitless place where thought, feeling, and action can emerge in unique creation.

Week Two: Activating Your Creative Potential

Week Two is about expanding our participation in being alive by expanding our daily awareness of our own existence. The expansion of awareness holds the key to living from the creative source. Instead of struggling to change your life, you allow a growing awareness to create the change you want to see.

Week Three: Living the Complete Spirit of Creativity

The third week focuses on allowing newly awakened creativity to impact our lives at every level. Then, having awakened our fuller potential, we share the spirit of creative awareness – and spread the energy of “getting unstuck” to the people around us. The key is closing the gap between the self we see in the mirror and the true self. When those two are merged, anything becomes possible.

About Chopra Global

Chopra Global is a leading whole health company that is empowering personal transformation for millions of people globally to expand our collective well-being. Anchored by the life’s practice and research of Dr. Deepak Chopra, a pioneer in integrative medicine, Chopra Global’s signature programs have been proven to improve overall well-being through a focus on physical, mental and spiritual well-being. Chopra Global has been at the forefront of health and wellness for more than two decades with a portfolio that includes an editorial archive with more than 2,000 health articles, meditations, masterclasses, teacher certifications, live events and personalized retreats. By providing tools, guidance and community, Chopra aims to advance a culture of well-being and make a healthy, peaceful and joyful life accessible to all. For more information, interact with the team on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

About Deepak Chopra, M.D.

DEEPAK CHOPRA™ MD, FACP, is founder of The Chopra Foundation, a non-profit entity for research on well-being and humanitarianism, and of Chopra Global, a modern-day health company at the intersection of science and spirituality, is a world-renowned pioneer in integrative medicine and personal transformation. Chopra is a Clinical Professor of Family Medicine and Public Health at the University of California, San Diego and serves as a senior scientist with Gallup Organization. He is the author of over 90 books translated into over forty-three languages, including numerous New York Times bestsellers. For the last thirty years, Chopra has been at the forefront of the meditation revolution and his latest (and 91st) book, Total Meditation (Harmony Book) helps to achieve new dimensions of stress-free living and joyful living. TIME magazine has described Dr. Chopra as “one of the top 100 heroes and icons of the century.” To learn more, visit his website.

What Keeps Men From Picking Up Their Household Mess

By Andi Simon, Ph.D.

For many of the women I have been working with during the pandemic crisis, the biggest complaint has been: “Why doesn’t my husband help pick up the mess?” “Don’t men even see the toys all around them, the dishes in the sink, the clothes needing folding?” And when they finally lend a hand, it is hardly neat or “the way I would have done it.”

Well, ladies and gentlemen, the cultural dilemma is upon us, exaggerated during the current stay-at-home, work remotely era caused by COVID-19. What wives, moms and girlfriends might have silently dealt with in the past has become a major issue when both partners are now at home together. Differences are more apparent, irritations closer to the surface.

As an anthropologist, and a wife, and a mother, I know all too well how difficult it is to change habits in adults. Once we learn our habits, they take over and drive us. My husband is a wonderful teammate but loves to leave his cabinets open, his clothes folded but not so smoothly, and his office … well let’s not discuss that. I do confess, at times my office is as big a mess as his, which is OK as long as each of us stick to our own disorderly worlds.

In a recent Atlantic article, “The Myth That Gets Men Out of Doing Chores,” Joe Pinsker writes about how these male-female differences originate partly from how boys and girls are raised, and partly from how men and women simply see things through different lenses. While some contend that boys are naturally messier than girls, there is little research to support that. If anything, boys and girls (and men and women) can both make a mess in the bedroom, the bathroom and the kitchen — indeed, making messes comes naturally to both sexes. Cleaning them up, less so.

The issue is that boys and girls are taught differently what it means to be “neat” or “messy.” There is nothing inherent in either of those words. We learn what they mean as we grow up, and the ones teaching us play a major role in handing down those cultural values about what we should or should not be doing to create order in our lives.

What matters is how we “believe” that we as humans create and manage our physical and social order, at home and outside of it. Watch boys at a sporting event — lacrosse, soccer or anything — and they learn quickly how to pack their sports bag and keep their equipment in good shape (or be yelled at by the coach). Girls do the same. In the office, men can be very neat, or not. I have had bosses with horrible office order and others who were so immaculate that it was weird. The same has been true of male or female bosses.

The question then becomes: Why do we think women should pick up the toys, fold the laundry and close the cabinets, while the guys watch their ballgame and drink their beer with a mess all around them? Humans are culture-creating and culture-living creatures. As children, we learn from parents, teachers and friends what is valued and for whom. If boys are allowed to have messy rooms because, well, they are just boys, they will quickly learn that boys can be messy, ignore the mess, and not be expected to restore order to it. If girls are told that they must clean up their rooms before they can do something they want, they learn other rules and other norms.

It really is true that what we see our mothers and fathers, and others, doing is what we mimic, in business and in life. It becomes embedded in our psyches, sometimes without our even realizing. If girls and women repeatedly hear that cleanliness is next to godliness, they will learn that making the bed, tidying the kitchen and cleaning up messes are positive reinforcements for how good and acceptable they are. Boys don’t learn this. In fact, if a boy neatly picks up his toys and then is called a sissy, what value judgement is that passing along?

So then, if you have a man in the house who repeatedly ignores the kids’ mess on the floor, think hard about what both of you are teaching your kids about personal responsibility, beyond neatness and messiness. You might during this at-home period be able to change their futures by providing them with unbiased values and beliefs about what men and women see and do. Remember, it is easier to change the kids than the guy. I would advise, though, that in your corrections to the latter, tread carefully but quickly, before the opportunity evaporates.

About Andi Simon

Andi Simon, Ph.D., author of the book Rethink: Smashing the Myths of Women in Business, is a corporate anthropologist and founder of Simon Associates Management Consultants. A trained practitioner in Blue Ocean Strategy®, Simon has conducted several hundred workshops and speeches on the topic as well as consulted with a wide range of clients across the globe. She also is the author of the award-winning book On the Brink: A Fresh Lens to Take Your Business to New Heights. Simon has a successful podcast, On the Brink with Andi Simon, that has more than 125,000 monthly listeners, and is ranked among the top 20 Futurist podcasts and top 200 business podcasts. In addition, Global Advisory Experts named Simons’ firm the Corporate Anthropology Consultancy Firm of the Year in New York – 2020. She has been on Good Morning, America and Bloomberg, and is widely published in the Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Forbes, Business Week, Becker’s, and American Banker, among others. She has been a guest blogger for Forbes.com, Huffington Post, and Fierce Health.

Mina Tocalini illustration for mental health article inside 360 magazine

Non-Immigrant Kids Respond Differently When Immigrant Children Are Bullied

A recent study finds that, while youth think all bullying is bad, non-immigrant adolescents object less to bullying when the victim is an immigrant. However, the study found that the more contact immigrant and non-immigrant children had with each other, the more strongly they objected to bullying.

“We know that bystanders can play a key role in stopping bullying, and wanted to better understand bystander responses to bias-based bullying,” says Seçil Gönültaş, first author of the study and a Ph.D. student at North Carolina State University. “What role does a victim’s background play? What role does the bystander’s background play? Are children more or less likely to intervene if they come from different backgrounds?”

To explore these questions, the researchers conducted a study with 179 children, all of whom were in either sixth grade or ninth grade. Seventy-nine of the study participants were of immigrant origin, meaning that at least one of their parents was born outside of the United States. Researchers categorized the remaining 100 participants as non-immigrants for the purposes of this study, meaning both of their parents had been born in the U.S.

Study participants read three different scenarios and were then asked a range of questions to assess what they thought of the interactions in each scenario and how they would have responded in each situation.

In the first scenario, a non-immigrant child socially bullies an immigrant child because of his or her immigrant status. In the second scenario, a non-immigrant child socially bullies another non-immigrant child for being shy. And in the third scenario, a non-immigrant child socially bullies an immigrant child for being shy. Social bullying involves verbal or emotional abuse, rather than physical abuse. Immigrant youth in the fictional scenarios were born outside of the U.S.

“In general, the kids thought bullying was not acceptable,” says Kelly Lynn Mulvey, co-author of the study and an associate professor of psychology at NC State. “But non-immigrant youth thought bullying immigrant peers was more acceptable than bullying of other non-immigrant peers. Immigrant origin youth thought bullying any of the kids was equally wrong.”

“On a positive note, we found that there were two things that made a difference,” Gönültaş says. “First, we found that the more contact children in one group had with children in another group, the less accepting they were of bullying and the more likely they were to intervene to stop the bullying. That was true for immigrant origin and non-immigrant youth.”

“We also found that children who scored higher on ‘Theory of Mind’ were more likely to intervene,” Mulvey says. “Theory of Mind is an important part of understanding other people’s perspectives, so we suspect this is likely tied to a child’s ability to place themselves in the victim’s shoes.

“Ultimately, we think this study is valuable because it can help us develop more effective anti-bullying interventions,” Mulvey adds. “For example, these findings suggest that finding ways to encourage and facilitate more positive interactions between groups can help kids to understand that all bullying is harmful and to encourage kids to step in when they see it.”

The paper, “The Role of Immigration Background, Intergroup Processes, and Social-Cognitive Skills in Bystanders’ Responses to Bias-Based Bullying Toward Immigrants During Adolescence,” is published in the journal Child Development. The work was done with support from the Society for the Psychological Study of Social Issues’ Grants-In-Aid Program.

Abstract

This study examined how intergroup processes and social-cognitive factors shape bystander responses to bias-based and general bullying. Participants included 6th and 9th graders (N=179, M=13.23) who evaluated how likely they would be to intervene if they observed bullying of immigrant-origin and nonimmigrant-origin peers. Adolescents’ grade, intergroup attitudes, and social-cognitive abilities were evaluated as predictors of bystander responses. Nonimmigrant-origin adolescents reported that they expect they would be less likely to intervene when the victim is an immigrant-origin peer. Further, participants with more intergroup contact and higher Theory of Mind were more likely to expect they would intervene in response to bias-based bullying. Findings have important implications for understanding factors that inform anti-bullying interventions that aim to tackle bias-based bullying against immigrants.

Kelly Fuhlman in 360 MAGAZINE.

BE THE HERO AND RESCUE YOURSELF

Have you ever wished a superhero would come down and rescue you in those chaotic life moments of life? The easiest thing to do is wait for someone more qualified to come along and fix what has been broken for so long. What if I told you that hero was you?

Each one of us has an evolution that occurs over time. Are we who we were a decade ago? From dyslexia, drug addiction, and trauma, there were many times when Kelly Fuhlman, author of the new book Be the Hero and Rescue Yourself: Creating the Inner Courage to Wear Your Own Cape (Clovercroft Publishing) didn’t think she would make it. Even in times when it felt better if she didn’t. The truth is the only person who can save each of us is ourselves. Through her journey, Kelly shares how to seize back your life from waiting for the hero to becoming your own. No matter what the condition of your life, or your heart, she invites readers to journey together with her to see proof that no matter how far you fall, you can get back up. Life is not built on ten easy steps. Learn to invest in yourself and surround yourself with great people who can support you and give you that swift kick when need it. You can be courageous and Be the Hero and Rescue Yourself. It’s time to dust off your cape, and step into your purpose and healing as your own hero. In the end, it takes grit, perseverance, purpose, and hard work. We are all just working our way through this life hoping to make an impact.


To learn more, visit: https://kellyfuhlman.com/

Books are available online.

About the Author

Author, Speaker and strategic planning expert, Kelly Fuhlman has been helping Fortune 500 companies, working for universities and Disney Institute, sharing best practices in leadership, marketing and business development. Equipped with an MBA and Bachelor in Communication, she helps create strategy and relationship building within companies and teams. She has increased revenue through branding and marketing, giving companies an edge over their competition. As a speaker, Kelly helps youth and adults recognize the hero within and how to change their own story to empowering them to become their own hero. She lives in Texas with her husband and son as she continues to build a legacy around family, faith and a commitment to excellence.

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PRAISE FOR BE YOUR OWN HERO

“I found Kelly’s book to be completely honest, forthright, and soul bearing. Being a male it is always fascinating to see what it is like growing up as the opposite sex. Kelly’s journey has been difficult and I commend her for her perseverance and guts. Her life has not been easy and she decided to bare it all, warts and everything. I am proud to call her a friend. Well done.
– Clint David, Fox Rothschild LLP

“Kelly Fuhlman is the mentor and leader everyone needs. Her new book, Be the Hero and Rescue Yourself, not only tells an amazing and honest story about Kelly but gives women and men the courage to find strength and growth in difficult change, no matter how hard it can be.” –Tiarra Tompkins – Writer/Editor

“Great book and great message! Thank you for sharing such a deep and personal stories. Even as a guy I can relate to many situations you present and valuable lifelong lessons to be learned.” –Jan Klodner, Board Member at Fidelity AG, Inc., JMAR Technology Services, LLC

Sparks Existential Threat visual

Sparks – “Existential Threat”

SPARKS TEAM UP WITH CYRIAK FOR “EXISTENTIAL THREAT” VIDEO

Sparks are excited to share the new video for the song “The Existential Threat,” from their new album A Steady Drip, Drip, Drip, which was released on CD, vinyl and cassette this past Friday, July 3. The video was created by the iconic animator Cyriak, known for his subversive and surreal work. “The incredibly manic and overwhelming nature of the existential threats that are facing all of us nowadays and our reaction to those threats, expressed musically and lyrically in our song ‘The Existential Threat’, are brilliantly demonstrated in the frightening and beautiful video for the song by Cyriak.” — Ron and Russell Mael, Sparks

WATCH “THE EXISTENTIAL THREAT” HERE

Speaking about the process Cyriak said: “When I was asked to make a music video for Sparks, I could hardly believe it. They sent me the whole of their new album to choose from, and there was this one song that immediately stood out – ‘The Existential Threat’. Not only did the music fit perfectly with my animation style, the subject of existential dread is something I have been fascinated by for as long as I can remember. It was like I could see the whole video inside my head as I listened to the song. “The brief was totally open, but I felt this track deserved more than just some crazy visuals. It has a psychology driving it, and a feeling that hangs over us all, especially in these modern times of information overload. Are these threats real, or imaginary? Are they just a paranoid delusion, or do we ignore them at our peril? It was great fun making this video, and I hope it makes people think about their inevitable impending death in a more light-hearted way.” The extraordinary A Steady Drip, Drip, Drip was released digitally on May 15 to universal acclaim.

“With A STEADY DRIP, DRIP, DRIP, Sparks have drawn on the many styles and many great moments in a multi-faceted career that began in their native Los Angeles in 1967, while retaining the unique identity. Whatever style they embrace, and they have embraced most – pop, rock, New Wave, synth-pop, disco, dance, electro, orchestral, opera – they always remain ineffably, irrefutably, inescapably, undeniably Sparks.” – LouderThanWar

“No band should by rights sound as sharp, melodic and funny more than 50 years into their career. But Sparks are no ordinary band.” – Q

“Sparks remain deftly untouchable” 9/10 – LineOfBestFit

“The Picassos of art rock.” – Associated Press

“a work of genius” – 9/10 Clash “A masterclass” – Northern Transmissions

“They’ve done it again” – ***** Record Collector

“Sparks. Only Sparks.” – **** FT Uncut 9/10 Mojo **** Q **** The Times **** Independent **** Daily Mirror **** Daily Telegraph ****

This next year should also see the eagerly awaited premiere of the musical Annette, the first English-language film from groundbreaking French director Leos Carax (Holy Motors, Pola X), written by Ron and Russell Mael and starring Adam Driver and Marion Cotillard. In addition, director Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Baby Driver) is putting the finishing touches to his as-yet-untitled Sparks documentary, a long-in-the-making feature-length film celebrating this singular band.

CONNECT WITH SPARKS HERE

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Peaceful Relationships in Turbulent Times

3 Steps You Can Start Using Right Away

Are these scary times taking a toll on your most intimate relationship?

If so, you’re not alone.

Fear and stress can lead to impatience and anger. And before you know it, you’re in a gut-wrenching argument with the person you love—right when you need each others’ support and companionship the most. 

Then if these painful disconnects go unresolved, you can find yourselves drifting apart. In China, the divorce rate shot up when quarantines were relaxed, and we’re already hearing the same in this country.

But it’s not from spending too much time together in the current lockdown. It’s because we’re not good at maintaining true closeness when we’re frightened.

From decades of helping people have happier, more fulfilling relationships, we offer these three steps for alleviating fear and amplifying love—even in highly stressful times. 

Step #1: De-escalate yourself—before you try to de-escalate the argument

It’s natural to want to de-escalate the friction between you right away. But we recommend focusing on de-escalating yourself first.

This is not just taking a few breaths or counting to ten, although that’s useful. It’s a deliberate shift in your self-talk that dissolves your distress enough that your caring heart and clear mind come back to the forefront. 

It starts with noticing what’s going on inside you and then naming it for what it is. 

For instance, as soon as you recognize that you’re upset, you might say to yourself: “Yikes. My stomach is in knots. I’m raising my voice. I’m reacting as if the person in front of me is an enemy, not my beloved. I obviously got triggered and might be over-reacting… Hmmm…” 

When you do that, your neurobiological self starts calming your inner fear-fest and restoring your ability to think clearly and connect warmly—which puts you in the right place to approach your partner again

One way to know you’re ready to reconnect is that your desire to get back to love will be louder than your impulse to be defensive and right.

Step #2 — Restore the loving connection between you—before you get into a conversation

It’s so tempting to launch into discussing whatever went awry so you can fix it quickly. But don’t! 

The pain of an argument comes from the disconnect between the two of you—not from the issue that triggered it.  

Here’s our favorite way to restore our connection before we talk: 

Whoever’s ready first (that was usually Paige early on) approaches the other gently and says: “I’m sorry for my part.” And then Don would say: “I’m sorry for my part, too.” And as you might imagine, the distance would melt, and within seconds we were in the full embrace of love again.

Of course, this only works when it’s 100% genuine, and it might take some practice to discover what works for the two of you. But when you do, the subsequent conversations will go much better.

Step #3 —  Listen and speak to create deeper understanding—before discussing what to do next time

We got this step very wrong in our early years. 

As soon as we were back in sync, we’d start talking about what to do differently—thinking that’s how we’d avoid reigniting the problem. Logical, yes. But it usually backfired. We’d start arguing again, or, if we agreed on a solution, it wouldn’t stick.

In time, we found that a real resolution only emerged from a full conversation. That meant having a compassionate, level-headed exchange where the goal of our listening and our speaking was to understand each other better. 

This requires listening with a genuine curiosity about your partner’s experience of whatever went awry and why it was so upsetting. When practiced with patience, this kind of listening makes it safe for your beloved to speak openly and honestly.

Your speaking also wants to be compassionate. Meaning, while being honest about what upset you, you’re choosing language and tonality that are easy for your beloved to hear without getting triggered again. That means describing your feelings and perspective without blame.  

Pitfall alert!

During this mindful make-up conversation—especially in these ultra-stressful times—it’s easy to slip back into criticizing your partner, defending yourself, or shutting down again. If that’s what happens (which we know it can) just go back to Step #1. De-escalating yourself again, and then… You get the idea.

These three steps—de-escalating yourself first, then restoring your loving connection, followed by listening and speaking for deeper understanding—provide a framework for creating patterns of communication that yield an ever-deepening bond of love. 

We know the quest can be messy, especially now. Still the potential for experiencing new dimensions of extraordinary love is well worth it.

About

Paige Marrs, PhD, and Don Marrshave been joyfully married for over 33 years and have worked together since the day they joined their lives. They co-authored two how-to memoirs, both of which teach through story. Their most recent book, Grabbing Lightning: The Messy Quest for an Extraordinary Lovereveals their messy, intimate journey to a love greater than either of them knew to reach for. Paige and Don have offered their program, The Love Conversation® Approach, for more than a decade to provide couples and singles the tools needed to resolve their challenges so they can experience the depth of love they yearn for. You can learn more or sign up for their newsletter, LoveNotes, at www.TheLoveConversation.com.