Posts tagged with "psychology"

Kelly Fuhlman in 360 MAGAZINE.

BE THE HERO AND RESCUE YOURSELF

Have you ever wished a superhero would come down and rescue you in those chaotic life moments of life? The easiest thing to do is wait for someone more qualified to come along and fix what has been broken for so long. What if I told you that hero was you?

Each one of us has an evolution that occurs over time. Are we who we were a decade ago? From dyslexia, drug addiction, and trauma, there were many times when Kelly Fuhlman, author of the new book Be the Hero and Rescue Yourself: Creating the Inner Courage to Wear Your Own Cape (Clovercroft Publishing) didn’t think she would make it. Even in times when it felt better if she didn’t. The truth is the only person who can save each of us is ourselves. Through her journey, Kelly shares how to seize back your life from waiting for the hero to becoming your own. No matter what the condition of your life, or your heart, she invites readers to journey together with her to see proof that no matter how far you fall, you can get back up. Life is not built on ten easy steps. Learn to invest in yourself and surround yourself with great people who can support you and give you that swift kick when need it. You can be courageous and Be the Hero and Rescue Yourself. It’s time to dust off your cape, and step into your purpose and healing as your own hero. In the end, it takes grit, perseverance, purpose, and hard work. We are all just working our way through this life hoping to make an impact.


To learn more, visit: https://kellyfuhlman.com/

Books are available online.

About the Author

Author, Speaker and strategic planning expert, Kelly Fuhlman has been helping Fortune 500 companies, working for universities and Disney Institute, sharing best practices in leadership, marketing and business development. Equipped with an MBA and Bachelor in Communication, she helps create strategy and relationship building within companies and teams. She has increased revenue through branding and marketing, giving companies an edge over their competition. As a speaker, Kelly helps youth and adults recognize the hero within and how to change their own story to empowering them to become their own hero. She lives in Texas with her husband and son as she continues to build a legacy around family, faith and a commitment to excellence.

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PRAISE FOR BE YOUR OWN HERO

“I found Kelly’s book to be completely honest, forthright, and soul bearing. Being a male it is always fascinating to see what it is like growing up as the opposite sex. Kelly’s journey has been difficult and I commend her for her perseverance and guts. Her life has not been easy and she decided to bare it all, warts and everything. I am proud to call her a friend. Well done.
– Clint David, Fox Rothschild LLP

“Kelly Fuhlman is the mentor and leader everyone needs. Her new book, Be the Hero and Rescue Yourself, not only tells an amazing and honest story about Kelly but gives women and men the courage to find strength and growth in difficult change, no matter how hard it can be.” –Tiarra Tompkins – Writer/Editor

“Great book and great message! Thank you for sharing such a deep and personal stories. Even as a guy I can relate to many situations you present and valuable lifelong lessons to be learned.” –Jan Klodner, Board Member at Fidelity AG, Inc., JMAR Technology Services, LLC

Sparks Existential Threat visual

Sparks – “Existential Threat”

SPARKS TEAM UP WITH CYRIAK FOR “EXISTENTIAL THREAT” VIDEO

Sparks are excited to share the new video for the song “The Existential Threat,” from their new album A Steady Drip, Drip, Drip, which was released on CD, vinyl and cassette this past Friday, July 3. The video was created by the iconic animator Cyriak, known for his subversive and surreal work. “The incredibly manic and overwhelming nature of the existential threats that are facing all of us nowadays and our reaction to those threats, expressed musically and lyrically in our song ‘The Existential Threat’, are brilliantly demonstrated in the frightening and beautiful video for the song by Cyriak.” — Ron and Russell Mael, Sparks

WATCH “THE EXISTENTIAL THREAT” HERE

Speaking about the process Cyriak said: “When I was asked to make a music video for Sparks, I could hardly believe it. They sent me the whole of their new album to choose from, and there was this one song that immediately stood out – ‘The Existential Threat’. Not only did the music fit perfectly with my animation style, the subject of existential dread is something I have been fascinated by for as long as I can remember. It was like I could see the whole video inside my head as I listened to the song. “The brief was totally open, but I felt this track deserved more than just some crazy visuals. It has a psychology driving it, and a feeling that hangs over us all, especially in these modern times of information overload. Are these threats real, or imaginary? Are they just a paranoid delusion, or do we ignore them at our peril? It was great fun making this video, and I hope it makes people think about their inevitable impending death in a more light-hearted way.” The extraordinary A Steady Drip, Drip, Drip was released digitally on May 15 to universal acclaim.

“With A STEADY DRIP, DRIP, DRIP, Sparks have drawn on the many styles and many great moments in a multi-faceted career that began in their native Los Angeles in 1967, while retaining the unique identity. Whatever style they embrace, and they have embraced most – pop, rock, New Wave, synth-pop, disco, dance, electro, orchestral, opera – they always remain ineffably, irrefutably, inescapably, undeniably Sparks.” – LouderThanWar

“No band should by rights sound as sharp, melodic and funny more than 50 years into their career. But Sparks are no ordinary band.” – Q

“Sparks remain deftly untouchable” 9/10 – LineOfBestFit

“The Picassos of art rock.” – Associated Press

“a work of genius” – 9/10 Clash “A masterclass” – Northern Transmissions

“They’ve done it again” – ***** Record Collector

“Sparks. Only Sparks.” – **** FT Uncut 9/10 Mojo **** Q **** The Times **** Independent **** Daily Mirror **** Daily Telegraph ****

This next year should also see the eagerly awaited premiere of the musical Annette, the first English-language film from groundbreaking French director Leos Carax (Holy Motors, Pola X), written by Ron and Russell Mael and starring Adam Driver and Marion Cotillard. In addition, director Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Baby Driver) is putting the finishing touches to his as-yet-untitled Sparks documentary, a long-in-the-making feature-length film celebrating this singular band.

CONNECT WITH SPARKS HERE

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Peaceful Relationships in Turbulent Times

3 Steps You Can Start Using Right Away

Are these scary times taking a toll on your most intimate relationship?

If so, you’re not alone.

Fear and stress can lead to impatience and anger. And before you know it, you’re in a gut-wrenching argument with the person you love—right when you need each others’ support and companionship the most. 

Then if these painful disconnects go unresolved, you can find yourselves drifting apart. In China, the divorce rate shot up when quarantines were relaxed, and we’re already hearing the same in this country.

But it’s not from spending too much time together in the current lockdown. It’s because we’re not good at maintaining true closeness when we’re frightened.

From decades of helping people have happier, more fulfilling relationships, we offer these three steps for alleviating fear and amplifying love—even in highly stressful times. 

Step #1: De-escalate yourself—before you try to de-escalate the argument

It’s natural to want to de-escalate the friction between you right away. But we recommend focusing on de-escalating yourself first.

This is not just taking a few breaths or counting to ten, although that’s useful. It’s a deliberate shift in your self-talk that dissolves your distress enough that your caring heart and clear mind come back to the forefront. 

It starts with noticing what’s going on inside you and then naming it for what it is. 

For instance, as soon as you recognize that you’re upset, you might say to yourself: “Yikes. My stomach is in knots. I’m raising my voice. I’m reacting as if the person in front of me is an enemy, not my beloved. I obviously got triggered and might be over-reacting… Hmmm…” 

When you do that, your neurobiological self starts calming your inner fear-fest and restoring your ability to think clearly and connect warmly—which puts you in the right place to approach your partner again

One way to know you’re ready to reconnect is that your desire to get back to love will be louder than your impulse to be defensive and right.

Step #2 — Restore the loving connection between you—before you get into a conversation

It’s so tempting to launch into discussing whatever went awry so you can fix it quickly. But don’t! 

The pain of an argument comes from the disconnect between the two of you—not from the issue that triggered it.  

Here’s our favorite way to restore our connection before we talk: 

Whoever’s ready first (that was usually Paige early on) approaches the other gently and says: “I’m sorry for my part.” And then Don would say: “I’m sorry for my part, too.” And as you might imagine, the distance would melt, and within seconds we were in the full embrace of love again.

Of course, this only works when it’s 100% genuine, and it might take some practice to discover what works for the two of you. But when you do, the subsequent conversations will go much better.

Step #3 —  Listen and speak to create deeper understanding—before discussing what to do next time

We got this step very wrong in our early years. 

As soon as we were back in sync, we’d start talking about what to do differently—thinking that’s how we’d avoid reigniting the problem. Logical, yes. But it usually backfired. We’d start arguing again, or, if we agreed on a solution, it wouldn’t stick.

In time, we found that a real resolution only emerged from a full conversation. That meant having a compassionate, level-headed exchange where the goal of our listening and our speaking was to understand each other better. 

This requires listening with a genuine curiosity about your partner’s experience of whatever went awry and why it was so upsetting. When practiced with patience, this kind of listening makes it safe for your beloved to speak openly and honestly.

Your speaking also wants to be compassionate. Meaning, while being honest about what upset you, you’re choosing language and tonality that are easy for your beloved to hear without getting triggered again. That means describing your feelings and perspective without blame.  

Pitfall alert!

During this mindful make-up conversation—especially in these ultra-stressful times—it’s easy to slip back into criticizing your partner, defending yourself, or shutting down again. If that’s what happens (which we know it can) just go back to Step #1. De-escalating yourself again, and then… You get the idea.

These three steps—de-escalating yourself first, then restoring your loving connection, followed by listening and speaking for deeper understanding—provide a framework for creating patterns of communication that yield an ever-deepening bond of love. 

We know the quest can be messy, especially now. Still the potential for experiencing new dimensions of extraordinary love is well worth it.

About

Paige Marrs, PhD, and Don Marrshave been joyfully married for over 33 years and have worked together since the day they joined their lives. They co-authored two how-to memoirs, both of which teach through story. Their most recent book, Grabbing Lightning: The Messy Quest for an Extraordinary Lovereveals their messy, intimate journey to a love greater than either of them knew to reach for. Paige and Don have offered their program, The Love Conversation® Approach, for more than a decade to provide couples and singles the tools needed to resolve their challenges so they can experience the depth of love they yearn for. You can learn more or sign up for their newsletter, LoveNotes, at www.TheLoveConversation.com.

Vaughn Lowery, 360 MAGAZINE

Depressed Nation: The Generation of the Uneducated

There’s no doubt that depression is increasing throughout the world, particularly in the United States. There are a number of reasons behind this – however, focusing on the problem itself doesn’t really help us find a solution.

What’s important is to address the underlying causes behind the issue so that we can learn how we can work to help fix the problem. In this article, we’re going to be discussing some of the causes of the increased level of depression – particularly the lack of education that we receive regarding mental health – and help point out some potential solutions that we can use to help fix the issue.

Why Are We So Depressed?


Depression has been increasing in the United States for some time. Suicides are increasing at an alarming rate – particularly for men between the ages of 45 and 64. In the US alone, depression has increased in the overall population by almost 1% in the years between 2005 and 2015.

The increase in depression is undoubtedly linked to a society which does not provide its citizens with the proper knowledge, education, or lifestyle opportunities to live happily. Even those who live the “American Dream,” driving rich cars and living with financial wealth, are often depressed. Many of these people commit suicide, as well.

There are lots of reasons that the world is becoming a more depressing place. The most important thing to recognize, however, is that wherever there is a problem, there is a solution. On that note, we’re going to discuss some of the most common reasons that people are experiencing more depression these days.

• Lack of education regarding mental health. Unless you choose to major in psychology or attend a high school that offers psychology as an elective, you probably won’t receive much education regarding depression or mental health in general. It’s not hard to see how this could lead to problems later in life.

Mental health problems are extremely common. In fact, pretty much everyone will deal with a mental health problem at some point in their lives. Unfortunately, most of us have to figure out what these mental health issues are about by talking to friends or family members, or by doing our own research.

Because we’re not educated about these things, one of the most important things that we can do to improve the state of mental health is to educate ourselves and the people that we know. This way, we will at least be able to approach these problems properly when they arise.


• Extreme work hours. Many people are forced to work very long hours – in fact, the standard 40-hour work week is known to cause stress, depression, and anxiety in the majority of people. This often leads to the need to take pharmaceutical medication, which can compound the issue.

Many people find it difficult to avoid the 40-hour grind. One way to avoid this is to begin learning how to make money by practicing your creative talents and finding people interested in them. If you haven’t figured them out yet, don’t give up!


• Lack of purpose / motive. One of the more frightening and existential aspects of our existence is that we don’t really know why we’re here or what our grand purpose is. These spiritual and existential questions are not only dealt with during schooling, they are usually actively banned from the curriculum.

This results in children growing into adults with no idea about what we’re meant to do as human beings, aside from work until we can retire before dying – which is a rather dark perspective that can lead to stark depression. People with a sense of purpose, on the other hand, tend to fare a lot better in life.

One way to develop purpose is to take up some sort of spiritual or meditative practice to approach these questions.

In Conclusion


There are many reasons that people are experiencing more depression in the United States. Fortunately, there are just as many solutions as there are causes.

Vaughn Lowery, 360 MAGAZINE

Ending Suicide This National Suicide Prevention Month

By Vinay Saranga M.D.

National Suicide Prevention Month is this September, with Suicide Prevention Week being recognized Sunday, Sep. 8, 2019 – Saturday, Sep. 14, 2019. Suicide is a growing issue in America, with an estimated 44,965 Americans ending their own lives each year, or roughly 123 each day. Think about that for a moment: 123 people each day saying they’ve had enough.

Suicide is the worst possible outcome there is not just for the individual, but for the family he or she leaves behind. Quite often this involves parents and grandparents, children, siblings and friends who are left wondering why. Why did he do it? Why didn’t I see the signs? Could I have done more? Is this somehow partially my fault? Was I not nice to him or her?

As mental health professionals, it hurts us too. If the person didn’t get help, why not? Was he or she denied access to mental health benefits? If he or she was under our care, where did we go wrong? Did we not see the signs or prescribe the wrong course of treatment?    

When it comes to suicide, there are no straightforward answers. In fact, most of the time, we never get answers unless the person left behind a note, and even then, we are still often left scratching our heads in disbelief and dismay.

That’s why initiatives like National Suicide Prevention Month and Suicide Prevention Week are so important. It helps us shine the light on the pain of suicide, even if for a short period of time. The reality is, we need to have open conversations about suicide, depression and overall mental health all the time, 365 days a year. We need to end the stigma surrounding mental illness immediately or unfortunately, suicide will continue to needlessly end the lives of so many around us.

The only bit of good news is that suicide is preventable, but an intervention must take place. The driving force behind a suicide must be properly dealt with before it spirals out of control, whether this is a mental illness, nasty divorce, job loss or anything else.

We can provide hope and support by starting a conversation. Reach out to help normalize the topic. Don’t hesitate to seek treatment for mental illnesses. It is not a sign of weakness. Someone suffering from heart disease wouldn’t hesitate to seek help for their heart condition. The same normalization needs to be visible in the mental health community. If you suspect someone might be suicidal, here are some things you can do to help.

Talk

Again, help normalize the topic by conversation. Simply asking someone if they are thinking about suicide is a good step. Never promise to keep their suicidal thoughts a secret. Be open and non-judgmental. Encourage immediate professional intervention through the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. It is available 24-hours a day.

Connect

Professional help is essential. Don’t just suggest it because they might be unlikely to follow through. Do it for them. Someone who might be suicidal could be suffering from deep depression, mania and other conditions that sometimes prevent clarity. Do the research and help get them set up with an appointment with a mental health professional like a clinical psychologist, psychiatrist or licensed counselor.

Support

If someone in your life is contemplating suicide, constantly remind them that there is hope. There are many successful treatments which can help turn how their feeling around. Life is worth living. Continue to support and communicate with them. You can increase their feelings of connectedness and share your ongoing support. There is evidence that even a simple form of reaching out, like sending a card or email, can potentially reduce their risk for suicide. Remember, loneliness is a major cause of depression.

This National Suicide Prevention Month, let’s put an end to this horrific epidemic once and for all. The more we continue the conversation and bring attention to it, the more people we will reach and save.

Vinay Saranga M.D. is a psychiatrist and founder of Saranga Comprehensive Psychiatry. http://www.sarangapsychiatry.com/

Wellness Expert Shares Personal Struggle with Addiction & Depression

ADDICITION. Doesn’t discriminate.
ANXIETY. Indifferent to credentials and achievements.
DEPRESSION. Blind to where you live.

By: Dr. Natacha D. Nelson D.C, M.A.

“Look at you, your parents should be disgusted by you”, voices whispered solely for my ears.

“Your black daddy and your white mommy should be ashamed, to get married, to have you…”, their unapologetic words punctured my naive heart. The seed planted.

“A half breed, black girl shouldn’t be raised by a foreign, white woman. You should be taken and given to a proper home”. Their sentiments pierced every cell of my seven year old body. The terror became real.

***

I Attended a private high school and college. And I was an addict. An eating disorder, compulsive exercise and alcohol consumed my life. Desperate to distract myself from painful and uncomfortable feelings, the addictions led to academic probation and ultimately, dismissal from college.

Determined to become successful, I redeemed myself as the doctor of a large successful practice. I became an internationally competing athlete, married, had a family and good friends around me. None of my achievements dissolved the terror restless below the surface. The image I portrayed eclipsed my fear. Not even I noticed the hibernating rumblings.

Skilled at detecting possible threats against me or my mom (whether real or imagined) I blotted out the physical and emotional consequences of undetected anxiety growing fierce. My duty as a protector and provider devoured my time, money, energy and resources. In attempt to thwart perceived threats, I bankrupt myself; physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially. Unable to force myself out of bed, depression ensued.

The proverbial earthquake jolted my life. Demolishing the comfortable walls I erected for safety. Raw and vulnerable, I allowed myself to feel the heartbreak, the grief and the rage. Courageously, I engaged one feeling, one emotion, at a time. Finally willing to acknowledging the terror and pain, I desperately tried circumvent.

Giving my hurt permission to breathe, I began to write. And the healing balm, called Love, soothed my aching heart. Through writing, I was able to sift through four decades of actions and behaviors of my life. Eventually, the “A-Ha” moment revealed itself to me.

*****

The insight that my choices and decisions were unconsciously driven by the need to prove to myself and others, that I was lovable. I wanted to feel accepted, at least tolerated enough, to dissuade others from harming me or my mom.

Unknowingly, my efforts could never hush the unloved parts of me I refused to accept. Other people’s beliefs- about me, my parents and my life- I accepted as true. As long as I held the misbelief that I was unlovable, nothing I could do would override my inner judgments of myself. My outward actions would follow my unconscious beliefs.

My only mistake was to believe the false words of strangers and neighbors. Accepting their judgments as true and accurate. Believing I was bad, wrong, worthless and to be ashamed of. My parents’ marriage-one year after interracial marriage was legalized- to some, was deemed a disgust and my black and white mixed skin was a disgrace.

Once I forgave myself, for choices I made from fear and misinterpretations about myself, the healing began. I could not prove I was loveable if I didn’t believe I was. Accepting I am loveable, I no longer felt the need to prove it; not to myself, to my parents, to anyone. I forgave myself for buying into the unkind words of strangers and neighbors. I Forgave myself for the actions and behaviors I engaged in as a result of the misinterpretations I believed about myself. I Forgave my parents for the mistakes I believed they made in raising me. And forgave the authority figures of my childhood whose unkind words hurt me.

Addictions thwarted my college experience.

Anxiety bankrupt me.

Depression forced me to look at every aspect of my life, lovingly guiding me through the necessary emotional process. The healing work was worth the time and effort. I am finally free.

To you, Beloved Reader. You, too, are loved, are loveable and your life matters.

With Loving,
Natacha.

To learn more about my story, my services, visit:
www.adancingzebra.com
www.lifedoctor.guru
“Finding Courage to Let YOU Out” is available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

About the author
Dr. Natacha D. Nelson D.C, M.A., has dedicated her career to understanding the connections between physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being through principles of Chiropractic and Spiritual Psychology. A practicing chiropractor for over 20 years, she is the owner of Inside Out Wellness Center, as well as a former professional beach volleyball player and advisor on health and wellness for the Santa Clara Fire and Menlo-Atherton Police Departments. She is a Mental Health and Wellness consultant and educator who keeps up on the latest research and attends continuing education seminars and scientific symposia, and has a master’s degree in Spiritual Psychology. She lives in Los Angeles, with her daughter.

Neurotriggers

In the early to mid-1970’s, a million dollars was a great deal of money, and thinking about becoming a millionaire was thinking very big indeed. A million dollars was a fortune to be amassed. Today it is a yearly income, or, at best, a couple years’ income needed by anybody attempting to amass a real fortune.

In a documentary on Ted Turner, he was bemoaning the loss of much of his wealth thanks to AOL/Time Warner, and worrying about being “down to a billion” while still in his 70’s — he said he hopes to have enough left to retire on someday. You can, he pointed out, get by on a billion if you’re careful and don’t buy too many planes or yachts. He was speaking tongue-in-cheek, but not totally. Just as 80 is the new 60 and we hope 100 will soon be the new 80, a billion is the new 25-million.

The first arsenal of skills and strategies one should master are those of survival. How to be broke but live well. How to pay one credit card with another. How to look the part and act as if. Some of these skills have lasting value, but most become an impediment, standing in the way of developing the different set of skills one needs next. I think overall, one of the hardest things we do in life is shed the thoughts, attitudes, skills, habits, associations that worked for us when doing “A” but hold us back and get in the way of doing “B”. We shed skin easily and automatically. We do not shed thoughts and behaviours so easily.

The second arsenal one should master are those for making money. Lots of it. In chunks and surges. These days, to be a millionaire is not all that complicated. If you happen to be young, 20 or 30, you can very, very easily reach and surpass that benchmark purely with an intelligent retirement plan (or other tax protected savings plan) by saving and contributing the maximum amount allowed every year. Or by buying a few good homes and owning them for the long haul. That will get you a million dollars someday.

To take it one step further, earning a million dollars per year – even though that certainly puts you at the 1% pinnacle of society – is also actually not all that difficult. A great many businesses or combinations of businesses provide such opportunity. It is, for example, nothing more than 1,000 transactions of $2,000.00 each with 50% net. Or 100 at $20,000.00 each. Or 1,000 customers giving you $100.00 a month. Or 2,000, giving you $50.00. I just read a report of a Gourmet Bacon Of The Month Club providing its owner with such income. Bacon.

Making lesser but still significant income, $100,000.00, $200,000.00 a year, even easier. A good handyman with nothing but a cellphone could have a ‘concierge practice’, with, say, 25 clients each paying him $300.00 a month…$7,500.00 a month, $100,000.00 a year. Just not that tough. More mental barriers than anything.

But if you start to think in terms of creating and keeping a small fortune in the 10-million to 50-million-dollar neighbourhoods, rather than just a million or two, the arsenal of required once again changes substantially. The knowledge needed, different. The mind-set needed, different. Here, in this space, an odd combination of daring, speed, grabbing of opportunities must be counter-balanced with a concern for preservation of capital, a diligent management of the money, not just making it.

I spent time the other day with one of my long-time clients who personally earns about 5-million a year and is worth about 4 million. He is busily involved in dozens of high-pressure projects. He said, “I often fall into shit. Sometimes I come up with gold. Other times I come up with shit. My success rate does not distinguish me. Being willing to dive into shit, that distinguishes me.” Different mindset.

We’ve talked about speed. To become a millionaire, you can do things slowly, methodically, logically, sequentially, neatly and cautiously. To be a multi, multi-millionaire, you cannot.

To stay a millionaire once there, you need to conserve. To buy carefully, spend reluctantly, invest wisely. Never paying more than is necessary. To stay a multi, multi-millionaire you need to be more aggressive. You often cannot afford to get the very best buy, as your time and lost opportunity is far more valuable than the deal available across town.

There is a hierarchy of sorts for independent business. It is: shopkeeper; business owner, entrepreneur; entrepreneur-investor; investor-entrepreneur. One of the painful aspects of moving through these stages is doing less of something you’ve mastered (and can do easily), in favour of doing other things you’re clumsy and uncertain at; the constant setting aside of old tools with which you’re expert in and picking up new tools you are profoundly inexpert with; of climbing Maslow’s step again and again and again.

Questions: What skills do you have that are useful not just at present but for where you want to go? What present skills are holding you back? What skills do you lack currently, but will be needed for the spot just ahead on your chosen road? Do you even have a Personal Skills List each ranked 1-10, and a list of New Skills In Development?

For additional information visit http://neurotriggers.com/

British Parents Spend £642 a Month on Credit Cards

    • Totally Money’s Credit Spending Index reveals the nation is spending 46% more on credit cards compared to ten years ago.
    • 56% of parents would rather save for a family holiday than clothing for children and school equipment and trips.
    • 78% of parents worry about their financial situation at least once a month

    Getting kids back to school means buying new P.E. kits, geometry sets, and school uniforms, 64% of parents, however, are frequently concerned about being able to afford their bills – so how are parents managing to cope with their cash flow, bills, and outgoings? The last ten years have been filled with financial uncertainty, from the market crash to the housing bubble, these have affected all forms of spending habits such as the price of petrol to the price of school lunches.

    Families are becoming more frugal when it comes to watching their pennies. Totally Money’s new research explores spending over the past decade, tracking data on consumer behavior, to reveal how parents have been managing their cash and paying their bills.

    Younger Families Rely the Most on Credit Card Spending

    Although the number of credit cards and accounts in circulation has decreased by 10% over the past decade, the number of purchases made have risen by 25%. Totally Money’s study reveals that the total value of credit card purchases has increased by a worryingly high 46%. When parents were asked if they feel they rely too heavily on their credit cards, 13% agreed. This agreement peaked to just under one out of five parents with young families (those who have children under the age of three).

    Parents Prioritize Holiday Saving

    The survey also revealed that a shocking 78% of parents worry about their financial situation on a monthly basis, with 28% worrying daily. However, despite this, an alarming 56% of parents prioritize saving for their family holiday over clothing for their children, as well as school equipment and school trips.

    Credit Card Spending

    With just over 75% of parents owning a credit card, 36% rely on their credit card to get them through the month – spending an average of £643 per month. The study also unveiled younger families might worry the most but are evidently savvier when it comes to their pennies; spending the least on their credit cards per month (£551). However, whilst parents with children aged between eight and twelve have the highest amount of disposable income, an average of £315 left at the end month, it seems the same group tend to be the most reliant on their credit cards; averagely spending £742 per month.

    44% of parents say they find themselves concerned about being able to afford their bills every month. This could be accredited to the increase in the cost of living as well as inflation compared to the national average salary of £27,600 – £1,200 less than the national average weekly household spend of £554.20, equating to a yearly figure of £28,818.

    Joe Gardiner, Head of Brand and Communications at Totally Money, comments, “It’s no secret that the way British people are spending their money has changed over the years. Although outstanding personal loans per household have fallen by 13%, the number of purchases has risen by 25%, which can be accredited to the difference of 4% between how much people are spending yearly and the average national wage.”

    “Brits are having to carefully consider what they deem to be important in order to make their income stretch even further. When asked what measures people put in place to assure they rely on your credit cards and/or overdrafts, it was really encouraging to hear the majority of people surveyed replied that they’re actively taking control of their finances by keeping an eye on unnecessary spending and budgeting in advance. ”

    To view the full tool ‘The Evolution of British Spending’ click here to discover more.

Tom Kersting Licensed Psychotherapist

Tom Kersting is one of the most sought-after experts in the field of mental health, families, parenting in the digital age, and over-device use. Tom holds advanced degrees including a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from St. Thomas Aquinas College, a Master’s degree in Counseling & Human Development and a second Master’s in Administration & Supervision, both from Montclair State University. Tom also holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Hypnotherapy (alternative/non-traditional) from Kona University.

Tom is a spokesperson for Zift, your screen time parenting ally, which offers a comprehensive and free solution for families wanting a safe and healthy way to live with smartphones, social media, apps and other screen time media and devices. Zift’s free app provides parents with the ‘Family Feed’ – a quick and easy way to understand their children’s screen time activity in real-time – by alerting parents to online searches, app installations, and viewing of dangerous content. Through its Parent Portal found at WeZift.com, Zift provides parents and others entrusted with the care of children a place to learn about and discuss the latest topics related to screen time use, online safety, and social media. Zift Premium, which includes the Net Nanny® Smart Filter, offers the best protection, screen time scheduling and device control that parents need to help raise successful kids in a technology-driven world.

Emotional Eating Contributing to Your Prediabetes?

Here Are Eight ADA-Approved Techniques to Break This Dangerous Habit

If you’ve got prediabetes, it’s time to adopt healthier eating habits. But emotional eating is one habit that could derail your progress and put you further at risk. Jill Weisenberger, author of Prediabetes: A Complete Guide, offers tips to help you stop emotional eating today.

Arlington, VA (May 2018)—If you’ve been diagnosed with prediabetes or have been told that you’re at high risk for developing type 2 diabetes, you already know you’ve got to change your eating habits. But overhauling your diet is anything but easy—especially when you’re feeling hurt, sad, mad, lonely, or aggravated. If you turn to food when you’re stressed or unhappy, you could be damaging your health with emotional eating.

“Plenty of people who try to adopt healthier eating habits often find themselves waylaid by emotional eating,” says Jill Weisenberger, who partnered with the American Diabetes Association to write Prediabetes: A Complete Guide: Your Lifestyle Reset to Stop Prediabetes and Other Chronic Illnesses (American Diabetes Association, May 2018, ISBN: 978-1-580-40674-1, $16.95). “Digging into a carton of ice cream or bag of chips when you’re feeling down can quickly derail your health goals. And for the 84 million American adults with prediabetes, emotional eating can be especially dangerous to your health.”

Weisenberger says it can be hard to break the habit of emotional eating, because psychology and biology are both at play. People reach for “feel-good” foods like Mom’s cookies or a cheesy casserole. Additionally, stress hormones crank up the appetite, and eating releases the brain’s feel-good chemicals. Often, a psychotherapist skilled in working with people with disordered eating is the ideal person to help you. Ask your healthcare provider for a referral if you think a psychotherapist can help you.

Despite these challenges, you can learn to stop emotional eating with practice and diligence. Are you ready to break free of emotional eating and move one step closer to reclaiming your health? Here are a few techniques that may help you on your journey.

Keep a log. Record your food intake for a week or two. Track what you’re eating along with your mood. This process may help you find choice points in which you can learn to change your thinking and behavior and teach you to identify your breaking points long before you break.

“Consider keeping a photo log,” suggests Weisenberger. “If you’re about to eat, snap a picture. Do this for a week to see in color the choices you’ve been making.”

Notice and label your emotions. Having negative emotions isn’t usually bad. In fact, having negative emotions is actually normal. But taking a deep dive into a bag of salty, crunchy snacks because of negative emotions is unhelpful in the long run.

“Practice noticing and labeling your emotions,” says Weisenberger. “Are you sad, anxious, lonely, or mad? Naming them and observing them without judgment will help you learn about them. Many people find that journaling about their emotions is helpful.”

Imagine handling emotional situations. In your mind, practice responding to common triggers in ways that don’t lead you to overeating. Think about what you can do next time you feel overwhelmed with household chores or the next time you argue with your spouse or whatever situation leads you to eat emotionally. Over and over in your mind, practice acting in desirable ways. “Here again,” says Weisenberger, “many people find journaling enlightening and empowering.”

Create a plan. After imagining responding in positive ways, create a plan for difficult situations. If you need distractions, gather things to help you, such as puzzle books, adult coloring books, nail polish, a list of people to call, or a list of activities such as soaking in a bath or playing with your dog.

“If you know that exercise or meditation help you cope with strong emotions, plan to take at least five minutes for meditation or exercise,” says Weisenberger. “You may need more than one plan to address various situations.”

Practice non-food coping skills. Regularly soothe yourself without calories. Every day, take time for soothing enjoyment, so when the time comes, you have an arsenal of coping strategies at the ready. Some ideas include taking deep-breathing breaks, using adult coloring books, writing in a journal, listening to soothing or uplifting music, chatting with a friend, buying yourself flowers, or soaking in a hot tub.

“I regularly play with my dog, Benny, a perpetual puppy,” says Weisenberger. “I also call and text my daughters, spend quiet time drinking tea or coffee with my husband, take five-minute breaks outside, and sit alone sipping a warm and fragrant tea from a beautiful cup. How you choose to soothe yourself is as individual as you are.”

Adopt a morning ritual. A morning ritual potentially has the power to affect your entire day. A ritual is different from a routine in that a ritual holds a deeper meaning. A few examples are:

• Express gratitude in thoughts, a journal, or aloud.

• Reaffirm your goals in writing or aloud.

• Practice yoga, meditation, or prayer.

• Watch a sunrise.

• Visualize good things happening in your day.

• Recite affirmations or a mantra.

Build in food treats. Whatever food you reach for in times of stress probably has some special meaning to you. Is it chocolate, macaroni and cheese, pizza, or hot-from-the-oven cookies? Whatever it is, be sure to have some now and then. Not as a reward, but simply because you like the way it tastes. Practice enjoying this favorite food in a reasonable amount, perhaps as part of a balanced meal. Simply removing a food’s taboo label can be helpful. In this way, you are learning that it’s okay to treat yourself and removing the notion of treats as cheats. We all deserve treats, but cheat days are the wrong mindset.

Create a personal wellness vision and review it often. A personal wellness vision is a concrete and motivating picture of you being healthy, feeling healthy, and living a healthful life. Imagine yourself at your ideal level of well-being. How do you feel? Look? Act? Write down what this looks like for you. This vision will help you identify what is important to you.

“After creating your vision, be sure to regularly look it over! It’s easy to forget what really matters when you’re under stress or running in crisis mode. But knowing—and remembering—what’s really important steers you to appropriate actions.”

“Reaching for food to manage your emotions can be a very hard habit to break,” concludes Weisenberger. “Become aware of times when you look to food to soothe you, calm you down, or help you avoid your feelings. When you recognize that you’ve been eating with your emotions, you can change the behavior and continue striving toward your health goals.”

You can visit Jill Weisenberger’s website here