I waited backstage behind the thick black curtain until my cue. On stage, the evening program continued, and I watched the speaker through a sliver in the curtain, careful not to let the audience preview the outfit I was modeling. I was dressed in an all-white lace tuxedo top, the opaque ruffle bib in front, concealing my breasts, paired with a black sequin skirt, both designed by Sujata Gazder. Black velvet strappy heels and bright red lipstick complimented my outfit. Lately, I had taken to wearing bright lipstick in an effort to portray youth and fertility despite entering a new stage of womanhood. My dark brown hair was pinned in a messy side bun, and my face was made up in plum colors to compliment my olive skin. It had been more than a year since I felt beautiful, and I was struck by the contrast of the day. Jenna Benn Shersher, the founder of Twist Out Cancer, the organization hosting the fashion show, stood in line behind me with the other models – all survivors and thrivers – waiting for their turn to walk the Runway of Resilience wearing the latest fashion designs.
“Go”
I stepped out onto the black platform. The lights were bright as I posed in the spotlight and music amplified throughout the vintage dining hall at Salvage One. Table after table of guests looked in my direction, some holding up their phone cameras to take pictures. For a moment, I felt self-conscious. It was as if the crowd could see the deep abdominal scar that stretched from my bra line to my pubic bone or the thinning hair and skin changes I experienced as a result of surgical menopause and hormone therapy.
Then, I remembered why I was here.
“It’s for us just as much as it’s for them,” I told myself. “Have fun.” I put on a big smile and proudly walked – no gaited – across the room, my battle wounds a badge. Cancer changes you. It shifts your perspective and helps you reprioritize. As I rounded the corner of the room, I caught a glimpse of my husband standing in the shadow of the professional photographer, eagerly snapping photos of me from one angle and then another. Photos which could never capture my story and would only allude to my strength. The strength it took to recover physically after a major blow, to accept my metastatic diagnosis despite having anxiety about the future, to find my grounding as a post-menopausal woman, and to wake up every day and choose to find joy over pain.
That is resilience.
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Soraya Fata is not only a survivor of ovarian cancer and an infertility warrior, but an advocate for women like her. She has written extensively on the topic of fertility and cancer to let other women know they are not alone and to empower them to share their own experiences. Soraya is a Chicago-based freelance writer and lawyer specializing in immigration and refugee issues, with experience working for various NGOs, the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, and the U.S. government. She holds a JD from American University Washington College of Law and an LLM from Georgetown University. Her passion and love of cultures has led her to live and study internationally and learn multiple languages. She writes about health, culture, travel, and motherhood, and is currently working on a novel. Her writing has previously appeared in The Forward, Kveller, Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine, Elephants and Tea, Conquer Magazine, and the Muse. Besides writing, Fata enjoys playing piano, being in nature, and practicing yoga. She resides in the North Center neighborhood of Chicago with her husband, their daughter, and the family’s miniature dachshund.
Twist Out Cancer is an international non-profit charitable organization that uses creative arts programming to provide social and emotional support to individuals touched by cancer. Since it was founded in 2011, the organization has touched the lives of over 257,000 people around the world. On Sunday, September 29, it hosted the Runway of Resilience Fashion Show in Chicago, which featured a runway that became a symbol of strength and courage as people who have been touched by cancer modeled stunning fashion pieces. To keep updated on upcoming events from Twist Out Cancer, please fill out the form on the bottom of this page.
