Posts tagged with "grief"

Illustration By Alex Bogdan for use by 360 Magazine

Sha’Carri Richardson Faces Olympics Suspension

By: Emily Bunn

American sprinter, Sha’Carri Richardson, has been suspended from the Olympics for one month.

Sha’Carri Richardson has recently been drug tested and found positive for marijuana usage. As such, she faces a one month suspension from the Olympics- threatening the sensational sprinter’s involvement in the upcoming Tokyo Olympics. Her suspension is set to begin June 28th, 2021.

The New York Times reports that the timing of this suspension could clear Richardson in time to run in the 4×100 meter relay, which takes place later in the games. However, Richardson is set to miss the qualifying rounds for the women’s 100.

Richardson has recently reveled in victory at last month’s 100-meter race at the U.S. track and field trials in Oregon. However, while in Oregon, the Olympian was also dealing with unexpected death of her mother. Not only was this news devastating, but Richardson found out about the very personal circumstance from a reporter.

As a means of coping with the harrowing tragedy, Richardson admitted to her marijuana usage. She stated: “It sent me into a state of emotional panic…I didn’t know how to control my emotions or deal with my emotions during that time.” It should be notes that in Oregon, the use of recreational marijuana has been legalized.

Cannabis is still among the United States Olympic & Paralympic Committee ruling of prohibited substances. The famed athlete apologized to her family, friends, and sponsors for her drug usage: “I greatly apologize if I let you guys down, and I did.”

As a result of Richardson’s suspension, several top runners have been bumped up in their rank positioning. Jenna Prandini is now set to be one of the three American Olympians involved in the women’s 100. Additionally, Gabby Thomas now stands as an alternative athlete for the same race.

Commenting to the Today Show on the situation, Richardson pleaded for spectators to recognize their shared humanity: “I just say, don’t judge me and I am human — I’m you, I just happen to run a little faster.

No More Hate illustration by Heather Skovlund for 360 Magazine

Atlanta Shooting

By: Carly Cohen × Heather Skovlund

Early this week, a tragedy had occurred in Atlanta, Georgia. A total of eight victims were killed at the Georgia spa. Six of the eight victims were Asian, and when the suspect got caught, he claimed that “his actions were not racially motivated.” It was stated that it was too soon in the investigation to claim this shooting as a hate crime; however, the shootings were “aimed at a recent wave of attacks against Asian Americans that coincided with the spread of the coronavirus across the United States.” The suspect claimed that apparently “sex addition” drove him to commit these murders.

There were multiple incidents: the first occurred at Young’s Asian Massage Parlor in a mall off Highway ninety-two, about thirty miles north of Atlanta. When the police got the call, five people were shot, and two were dead while three were rushed to the hospital. An hour later, after this tragedy, two other shootings happened right across the street- one being on Piedmont, the other at the Gold Spa and Aromatherapy.

There were seven women and one man; most of them were Asian. The victims have been identified as Delainia Ashley Yaun, Paul Andre Michels, Xiaojie Tan, and Daoyou Feng.

Yaun and her husband, Mario Gonalez, were off work getting a couples massage at Young’s Asian Massage when the tragedy started. Her husband safely made it out of the salon, but he and his wife were in separate rooms when the shooting was started. They had a family together; a thirteen-year-old son and an infant daughter. It is sad to say that this woman was a victim in this shooting that not one person deserved -separating families, taking parents, taking siblings. It is a terrible, terrible thing that no one deserved. John Beck, Yaun’s manager, voiced to BuzzFeed News that “her heart was so big.” She would feed homeless people and offer them clothes and a place to shower. Hearing a person who is so kind and so pure as Yaun makes you ask the question, “why do bad things happen to good people.” It doesn’t make sense and is not fair.

Xiaojie Tan was the owner of Young’s Asian Massage as was another victim of the attack. She was known for being an extremely hardworking small-business owner and had such a big heart filled with love and kindness. Her client, Greg Hynson, stated that when he came for an appointment on his birthday a year ago, she had a birthday cake waiting for him. Another victim, Paul Andre Micheals, was a U.S Army infantry veteran married for more than two decades. He was a “dedicated, hardworking, loving man,” his brother stated.

These killings brought a “wave of outrage and attention to violence against Asian-American people.” As soon as social media was notified of the attacks and assumed to be focused on Asian’s, you could see all over the media celebrities, influencers, and people left and right posting regarding standing up for the lost lives and spreading awareness to this hate crime and all hate crimes in general. The media has been outraged and will continue to stand together.

Rita Azar illustrates relationship article for 360 MAGAZINE

“If Anything Happens, I Love You”

By Hannah DiPilato

Warning: Spoilers Ahead 

Netflix has recently released the heart-wrenching short film, “If Anything Happens, I Love You.” The twelve-minute animation has gained immense popularity on social media and many people on TikTok are urging others to watch the film. 

Written and directed by Michael Govier and Will McCormack, the film looks into the life of two grieving parents. At the beginning of the film, it’s hard to tell what to expect. We see a couple that is visibly fighting and their shadows, which could represent their souls, leave their bodies, and interact with one another. We soon see foreshadowing that the loss of their child is causing the grief. 

The entire film is in black and white except for a few strategic placements of color. We first see this color on the side of the family’s shed, a large, blue spot that the father looks at as if the spot holds meaning. The next time this same blue hue appears is while the mom is doing laundry and finds a blue shirt in the grey pile of clothing. She embraces the shirt into her nose, another hint to the watcher that this family is grieving. 

A soccer ball then falls off the washer and rolls into an ominous room with a closed door. The family’s cat follows the ball into the room and the ball bumps a record player which begins the song, “1950” by King Princess. The mom follows the sound into the bedroom and is met with photos of a young girl with a toothy smile. The dad is close behind and the mother holds up the shirt she found while doing laundry, they share a sympathetic smile. 

The shadow of a young girl pops up out of the record player and shares a heartwarming reconnection with the cat. The parents’ shadows come together and embrace the shadow of the girl and we see the parents finally reconnect since their argument. 

We get a few flashbacks and watch the couple’s daughter grow up. We see the family take a road trip, the girl learns to play soccer and the family celebrates her 10th birthday. We learn the spot on the shed came from the girl kicking a soccer ball too hard into the side. The parents then send their daughter off to school and this is when the tears really start flowing. 

The girl starts to approach the school and the shadows of the then naive parents are trying desperately to stop the girl from going. Of course, the shadows are unsuccessful and the girl waves goodbye as she walks into school, and impending doom. 

An American flag is seen hanging over the doors inside of the school and the red, white and blue pops against the grey background. This is another time the directors used a splash of color in the grey film. At first, the background noise is the basic sounds of a school such as chatter and slamming lockers. Then, we hear a gunshot. Two more gunshots blast in the background followed by the horror of screaming children. The screaming and gunshots continue and police sirens begin to blare while the screen switches to flashing red and blue lights.

While the chaotic background noise continues, a sketch of a phone appears with a bunny phone case. “If anything happens, I love you” sends from the phone and one final gunshot makes the screen go black. The audience finally connects the pieces of the film. The daughter has been killed in the school shooting. 

The text appears again and the letters fall turning to raindrops. The rain falls on the parents’ shadows as they sit facing away from each other on two sides of a piece of land. In the final moments of the film, we see the parents reunite thanks to the shadow of the daughter, and we see the parents finally find comfort in one another. 

It was shocking how much emotion could be fit into a twelve-minute animated film. There were many themes displayed in the film touching on family, loss, grief, trauma and love. This film also speaks out on the very important issue of gun control in America. For so many families, losing a child to gun violence in a school shooting is a harsh reality. A child’s life can be snatched away from them at an incredibly young age. 

With no dialogue and simple illustrations, the writers were able to convey an entire story that plays with the emotions of the viewer and evokes important conversations. The distress shown in the marriage after the loss of the daughter is something parents experience and may not necessarily want to talk about. It’s easy for the loss of a loved one to break people apart. 

The main takeaway from the film should be to hold your loved ones close because you never know what will happen next. In our fast-paced lives, we often take our lives and loved ones for granted. This film flawlessly shows how easily we can experience a loss that can make our world come crashing down. Remember, hold your loved ones close and tell them you love them, before it’s too late.

Watch the short animated film on Netflix now.

Erin Wiley’s Coping Strategies

During the pandemic, grief is a natural emotion people are feeling for various reasons. Licensed Clinical Psychotherapist Erin Wiley, MA, LPC, LPCC says, “Right now the grief I am seeing in my therapy patients ranges from disappointment and sadness to frustration and anger. People are disappointed by having to reschedule events like weddings, sad about not being able to see family members, frustrated by losing out on once-in-a lifetime events, and angry from the lack of control and unfairness if it all.”

The biggest grief reactions Erin is witnessing are connected to the loss of major events, particularly funerals because of the inability for family members to give their loved one the proper goodbye they wanted. While you can hold a memorial at a later date, there are no do-overs for a funeral.

Weddings are a big loss because of the amount of time and money and energy that go into planning such a large-scale event, but weddings too can be rescheduled or dramatically scaled down and still held.

Proms are once in a lifetime events that seniors lost this year, in addition to the even more important graduation. College graduates were denied a graduation ceremony as well.

“These are all things that cannot be made up and are events that will now never happen,” Erin reflects. “Trips that people have planned for years were just cancelled with no reschedule dates available. Women gave birth and cared for newborns with no supportive family members there to lend support. There is a profound sense of sadness in a loss where there can be no do-over, no make-up, no second chance.”

Erin believes people should be grieving right now. “There are so many complex losses, and most people are grieving the loss of more than one thing,” she describes. “Meaningful and important life events have been lost, but also lost are a sense of normalcy, the freedom to go out as before, the ability to engage in leisure activities like sports and shopping and dining out. There have been losses in how people work, losses of education and the traditional school year, losses of time and energy as people struggled to home school their children while simultaneously trying to maintain work commitments all while learning the ropes of working from home.”

Erin has outlined 5 tips for people to cope with grief during the pandemic:

1. People should be encouraged to talk about their experiences. Find supportive people who can listen with empathy and can validate the losses and the feelings behind them.
2. People should spend the time they need to emotionally process through the details of the loss. Be sure to take care to really grieve each part of what is now gone. Engaging in activities like journaling and self-reflection are ways people can move toward the resolution of grief
3. People should consider helping others who are struggling with loss as a mean to help them through their own feelings. Helping others is a great strategy for moving toward healing as it takes us out of our own situation temporarily.
4. People can be encouraged to remember that grief is not a liner process and has no timeline. They may feel they have moved beyond the pain of a loss only to discover difficult emotions coming up again in the future. That’s normal and to be expected so people need to make room for that.
5. People should look for ways to turn the situation around the best they can to their favor. Finding new and meaningful ways to memorialize a loved one who has passed or celebrating a graduation or birth in a novel and special way can help smooth over the rough edges of grief left behind after a loss.

“To prepare for these inevitable experiences of grieving, we should try to see how our feelings of irritability, anger and frustration can actually be a cover to mask the deeper sadness and worry we have all been collectively experiencing,” Erin suggests. “Being purposeful in searching our own emotions regarding loss can help us better prepare for losses we will encounter in the future.”

Coming to an understanding that no one is immune to loss can be helpful, as it can help build resiliency.

“Developing or honing coping skills that serve to regulate us when upset is a way to be better prepared for future emotional distress,” Erin recommends. “Also, creating or re-enforcing a strong and supportive emotional support system is a great way to brace ourselves for tough times ahead of us.”

About Erin Wiley:

Erin Wiley, MA, LPC, LPCC, is a clinical psychotherapist and the Executive Director of The Willow Center, a counseling practice in Toledo, Ohio. She leads a team of 20 other therapists in their goal of meeting the counseling needs of the people and families of Northwest Ohio & Southeast Michigan, in addition to clients state-wide through telehealth. The clinical focus of her therapy work is marriage, family, parenting, and relationships. She has extensive training in marriage counseling from the Gottman Institute, located in Seattle, Washington. Her most recent area of research involves the study of the management and regulation of emotion as it pertains to mental health. Learn more about Wiley here.

Erin Wiley, Vaughn Lowery, 360 Magazine

Sheri Hunter – Daring to Live

Author Sheri Hunter’s new memoir, Daring to Live: How the Power of Sisterhood and Taking Risks Can Jump-Start Your Joy, is being made into a film: DeVon Franklin, the producer behind the drama Breakthrough (that made over $50 million worldwide in 2019), has signed on to produce the film adaptation of Daring to Live for Paramount Pictures (additional details here).

But don’t wait for the movie – increase your joy now with thispowerful, poignant memoir, available from Baker Books. 

Elevated by the author’s sharp wit and gift for storytelling,Daring to Live details Sheri’s journey to conquer grief, loss and fear… a journey that includes best friends, skydiving, motorcycles – even climbing Kilimanjaro! 

When her husband, Mannard, unexpectedly passed away at age 50, Sheri Hunter was devastated. With her whole world collapsing around her, she turned to her friends. Years before, she and these friends – the “Dare Divas” – had gone on a whitewater rafting trip. Now they sought out other adventures to help Sheri heal – ziplining, skydiving, mountain climbing, and more. Through these death-defying activities and the unwavering support of her friends, Sheri slowly found the strength to move forward in life. 

“When I lost Mannard, I faced deep sorrow and shock, of course. But I distinctly remember that one feeling overshadowed all the others: supreme abandonment. This feeling was so permeating, it led me to question my place in life itself,” says Sheri in Daring to Live.  

“Fortunately, the Dare Divas were there to pick me up, and strengthen my resolve and joy for life. Our dares took on a therapeutic role. As I reflected on each challenge, I saw thesedares were teaching me a series of life lessons for my new life without Mannard – and that it was possible to have a satisfying, fulfilling life again.”  

This empowering travelogue pairs emotionally resonant, confessional storytelling with spiritual takeaways, challenging readers to engage fully in their own lives, surround themselves with friends who will support them, and face life’s challenges with courage and faith.

Read Daring to Live: How the Power of Sisterhood and Taking Risks Can Jump-Start Your Joy– no jump from of an airplane at 13,000 feet necessary! Then again, maybe that’s just what’s needed… 

About the Author:  Sheri Hunter is a marketing professional who has served as a producer for Michigan’s national news affiliates, including CBS and NBC. She is a freelancer for several daily newspapers, including the Oakland Press, the Morning Sun News, and has been featured in MORE Magazine and National Geographic Traveler.

A popular keynote speaker, Sheri loves to show others that living outside of our comfort zones helps us discover amazing things about ourselves, even if those acts aren’t as extreme as jumping out of an airplane at 13,000 feet. Sheri lives in Michigan.

Elizabeth Feldstein On Processing Grief

Actress Elizabeth “Beanie” Feldstein, the younger sister of star Jonah Hill, is opening up on the lessons she’s learned since the sudden death of their older brother in December 2017. Read here.

“About a year ago, Jordan Feldstein passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly,” the Lady Bird actress pens. “He was a remarkably generous, intelligent, loving person. He was an incredible father, beloved by his boys… He was a deeply devoted son.”

“He was a brilliant creative mind. And he was my biggest brother. He gave me so many things, including my name. In this past year, I have learned an immeasurable amount about the bandwidth of my own heart. The pain is so unbearable at times, so unremitting. Yet, in addition to the deluge of feelings leaking out of me at all times, I have found the process of grief (because it is and will always be a process, never finished, never concluded) to be just as resonant in my mind as it is in my heart.”

“It’s like all of a sudden, a pair of glasses were strapped to my face. And I can’t take them off. Ever. And these glasses make me see the world differently than I did before.”

For the full article click here. The latest issue of InStyle hits newsstands nationwide April 19th

5 Steps To Effective Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution can be hard because we often fear that the other person won’t be open to what we have to say. We may think the other person doesn’t care about how we feel, or that they just don’t have the capacity to understand. This may cause us to try to force our perspective on others or avoid conflict resolution altogether. Whether you find that you engage in frequent arguments that leave you feeling frustrated and alone, or you tend to suffer in silence by avoiding conflict altogether, these conflict resolution tips may work for you.

1. CHECK IN WITH YOURSELF.

Take a moment to breathe and notice the feelings in your body and the thoughts that are passing through your mind. Do you feel vulnerable? Are you angry? Do you feel a sense of heaviness? Don’t judge yourself; simply take note.

2. THINK ABOUT YOUR GOALS.

What do you want to achieve from the conversation? What do you really want from the other person? Be solution oriented. If you want to make the other person feel bad, things probably won’t go so well. On the other hand, if you want the other person to understand you so that your relationship will be more harmonious, then you’re on your way to effective conflict resolution.

3. SHARE YOUR PERSPECTIVE.

Here is where things become technical. Now that you know how you feel and what you want, it is helpful to be thoughtful about how you express yourself. It’s common to assume that because you and another person share an experience, you will both feel the same way about it. However, because of our unique upbringings and experiences, we all view things a little differently. In order to let the other person know you are open to hearing their perspective, it is helpful to use “I messages.” (add link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I-message) For example, instead of making a statement such as “you don’t care about me”, which could make the other person feel defensive, saying something such as “I felt like I didn’t matter to you when you didn’t call to check on me” lets the other person know how you interpreted their actions and gives them space to clarify their intentions.

4. USE NONJUDGMENTAL LANGUAGE

Think about what you find upsetting and describe it using descriptive, nonjudgmental language. For example, if you were offended because someone arrived late to a meeting, don’t say something like “You were inconsiderate or rude.” Try saying, “You were 15 minutes late, and it’s important that everyone arrive on time.”

5. CHECK IN WITH THE OTHER PERSON

Ask about how the other person experienced the situation. This gives the other person a chance to share his or her perspective, which may change your outlook. Continuing from the example above, in addition to saying , “You were 15 minutes late, and it’s important that everyone arrive on time,” you can check in with the other person by saying “Are you okay? Was there a reason you were late?”

While these steps seem simple, effective conflict resolution is a skill that takes time to develop. Incorporating these tips may feel difficult at times because they may trigger negative feelings that are rooted in the past. However, If you master these steps, you will find that your conversations will become more productive and you will be well on you way to building stronger and more meaningful connections with others.

About Dr. Crystal Clements:

Dr. Crystal Clements is a psychologist, who practices as a registered psychological assistant in Downtown Los Angeles at Here Counseling . She works with adults, adolescents, couples and families to treat depression, anxiety, grief, trauma, and relational issues. She loves what she does and is passionate about helping people feel good about themselves and life. Dr. Crystal earned a PhD in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis in Family Studies and MAs in Psychology and Christian Leadership from the Fuller Graduate School of Psychology. She earned a BA in Communications from the University of Pennsylvania. As part of her training, she completed an APA accredited internship in Health Service Psychology at California State University, Fullerton.

Contact her today for a free 15 minute consultation!