Five Reasons Dating Makes You Want to get Married...Well, maybe...
"You are either single and lonely or married and bored." - Chris Rock
"Dating sucks" - Jennifer Aniston
"Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable" - Carrie Snow
Everyone has a horrible dating story and we all know someone in a stale marriage. Ditching a bad date is easy. You just excuse yourself to the bathroom and leave stealthily through the side exit, never to return. However, leaving an unfulfilling marriage. That can get messy. Alimony, child support, distribution of property and most importantly the loss of a life partner all can contribute to disillusionment when it comes to love. Even more reason to stay single?! I don't think so and here is my rationale.
1. Ring, Ring. Whatever happened to a good, old-fashioned phone calls? Emails, texting and twittering have distanced men and women more than any other innovation. Are we limited to getting to know each other through big and small screens?
During an actual conversation, you can hear each other's voices, giggle a little and maybe even exchange some sensuous discussions which lack the necessary subtleties when strictly in written form. Most importantly, women feel special when men call. Guys can establish a rapport by calling to plan a date while saving the texting for simple messages like Hey sexy, I'll be there in 5 minutes.
2. Affected Men. No, not infected men, which would definitely be a deal breaker. This may be more of a big city trend as it's encountered repeatedly in Los Angeles and NYC.
I am speaking of the guys who define themselves by who they know and what they do or would like to do. Name-dropping, career exaggeration and obsessive preening are a few clues that he is a tool with no real interest in women other than using her as an adornment. These pretentious guys use a false persona to get women in bed as quickly as possible before they figure out his Ferrari is rented, his French accent fake, and that they may be washing dishes because each one of his credit cards is being returned by an uncomfortable server who has to say, "I'm sorry sir, but there seems to be a problem with your card." As opposed to the truth, "I'm sorry sir, but we don't accept smoke and mirrors as payment for this obviously above your means dinner."
3. Waiting Game. He is gorgeous, charming, and witty, an all-encompassing dream guy, so naturally our loins rage off the charts every time we see him. Walking the fine line between sexual adventure and self-restraint is frustrating. It is fine to indulge our wild sides, but we cannot expect him to stick around when the romp is over. Hooking up with a guy does not guarantee any staying power; in fact, it usually ensures he flees into the night. Initially, men are attracted strictly to our physical beauty. We have to draw them in with more than sexual trysts. As soon as he leaves his dalliance with us he has another woman is his ear whispering, "Anything she can do, I can do better." As exasperating as it is for us, we must make them wait. Waiting to exhale? I don't think so. More like waiting to scream out in pure unbridled passion, but waiting nonetheless.
4.The Blow Off. By far, the worst part of dating is the rejection that comes along with putting yourself out there to find "the one". Coffee date, lunch date, dinner date, on and on it becomes monotonous and then, he arrives: the gem that renews your faith in men. He not only looks good on paper, but also embodies your personal wish list. Swept off your feet and giddy with the promise of new love, you are not prepared for his disappearing act. He's no longer following you on Twitter. You try to tag a Facebook photo of the two of you and realize he's no longer on your friends list. There was no forewarning, no phone call, no e-mail, your dream man just became a ghost. The most maddening part of this nightmare is you're left mulling over "what went wrong?" with absolutely no possibility of getting an answer because he won't return your phone calls. Infuriated, disappointed, and dejected you vow never to date again.
5. Loneliness. Over it!!! Lately you prefer to spend your evenings scouring gossip sites to engage in a little schadenfreude while smiling at the misfortunes of celebrity lackluster love lives. Too bad it doesn't make you forget your own dating misadventures. Admit it; the self-imposed hiatus you're taking from love affairs is lonely. Yeah, dating sucks, but so does solitary confinement. And although girlfriends are great they're no replacements for an intimate, long lasting, loving relationship. Single and lonely vs. married and bored; it's ultimately your decision, but if you're looking for eternal ennui with your soul mate you gotta get back out there and wade through the undesirables, making 'em miserable every step of the way!